first impressions (USA)

you need a car here in the big state of Texas and the little city of Brenham. even though there are less people here than in Antigua, the city is so spread out that if you don't have a car, it could be the end of the day by the time you got to the grocery store.

everything is clean. the buildings. the roads. the people. i really like clean.

the roads are straight and flat and for the most part without holes.

it's quiet here. very quiet. i have yet to hear firecrackers or a honking horn.

there are no buses.

there are no ants crawling on the wall behind my bed. there aren't dogs running the streets. there are no people walking along the highway carrying stuff atop their heads. there aren't any children on the corners selling stuff (well, drugs in some cases, but you know what i mean). it's very UNpopulated here.

i have to make my own food, but i have choices (it's a trade-off). i have entertainment whenever i choose. i have privacy. i can communicate. i understand all the words on all the signs, TV, and whatever the people say in every place i've been thus far.

Americans are much more rude than Guatemalans. when i was in North Carolina waiting for my plane i bought a candy bar. the lady who took my money never said hello, never said thank you, never made eye contact. in Guatemala they would have greeted me as soon as i walked inside the door, offered to help me find something, offered me 5 other things as well, and thanked me twice before i left. yes, they NEED the money whereas this was just a job for this woman, but still, a smile and thank you would have been much more appealing.

i've realized i miss speaking spanish. i don't miss not understanding, but i do miss talking with my teachers in spanish over ice cream or a game of cards. i also miss walking. i guess i have to go outside and just walk for 15 minutes with no place to go. my body is feeling very lazy and fat. i'm not even hungry.

i'm also sick. i spent 9 weeks in Guatemala and wasn't sick from anything. the day i return i feel sick. now, three days later, i have a full-out cold.

even though i'm not a morning person and much prefer silence, i did enjoy being greeted with smiles and happiness from Adolfo every morning at breakfast. "Buenos dias, Yenny, como estas?!"

everytime i need to walk by someone i want to say "Permiso." i can't get rid of that urge of politeness and sometimes say it anyway. i was so polite in Guatemala, with every person i was around, and here ... well ... i'm not. it feels weird.

with that said, "Feliz Cumpleanos, Grandma & Melissa!" :-)

adios, Antigua!

well, i have about 45 minutes before i leave Antigua to go to the airport and start my journey home. it's been quite a trip!

i've learned i don't like constant noise, but i do like to walk everywhere i need to go. i learned enough Spanish to communicate basically, but still need to learn a BUNCH of words to have in-depth conversations. i learned to dance to Spanish music. i met a bunch of people. i ate strange food. there is SO MUCH i've learned and seen ... i can't even express it all right now. i need to process more as i return to the States. but, overall, i am VERY thankful i came. yes, it was hard. yes, i cried a bunch of times. and yes, i am returning a week earlier than planned. BUT, i would do it again and enjoy it more the second time around. :-) (just not for as long)

thank you, Guatemala, for having me in your country. hasta luego!

the last day

for breakfast i had typical Guatemalan food. eggs, black beans, bread.

the morning class was rather easy. Hugo and i talked for 2 hours about Christmas traditions and other stuff. after the break we played Crazy 8s and Rummy. i lost.

my afternoon class was fun. Gabi invited me to walk to Campero for an ice cream cone. very sweet. :-) so we walked, bought ice cream, and sat in the park and talked until 3 p.m.

now i'm killing time until 6 when i'm supposed to meet Erwin. after seeing him for a couple of hours i will go to the Christmas party at the school, then home to sleep.

overall, it's been a pretty good day i guess. though saying goodbye tonight will be a little hard. and goodbye to the family tomorrow as well. even though i'm ready, i don't really want to leave the people here. i've enjoyed getting to know Gabi and Hugo and my family.

the last activity

pictures

Today’s activity was the best of the entire 9 weeks. We went to San Antonio Aguas Calientes, a pueblo about 15 minutes outside of Antigua. First we had to walk all the way to the bus station and find the bus we needed. Once we found it we sat in it for about 15 minutes or so waiting for it to fill up. Finally we left, picking up tons of more people along the way.

In S.A. we walked a little ways to the center of town where we sat in a little store and four women proceeded to demonstrate a variety of things for us. One woman did the talking and shared a bunch of information about each thing. it was all very interesting, the things I actually understood. :-)

The first thing the demonstrated was the thanking of God for that year’s harvest. In order to thank Him they do a little dance. There was a music, but not entertaining music. It was the same little tune over and over again. Each woman had a little pot that was on fire and bunches of smoke came out of each one. First the knelt in a circle and raised their pots up to the sky and back down to the ground 5 or 6 times. Then they got up and started dancing around. I can’t describe this dance, but it’s very simple. Basically just left and right and past each other, forward and backward, all while moving left and right.

After that two female students volunteered to be dressed up in a headdress to show us how girls are chosen to be wives. At a certain age (14 or so), if they haven’t got a boyfriend already, they have a headdress put on them. One is for a girl who doesn’t have much experience, the other for one who has a lot of experience. A cloth is laid upon their shoulder and whenever they are out working they wear this cloth over their shoulder. If a guy decides he wants to marry her, while she’s walking he comes up from behind and takes her cloth. At that point she is considered taken and will marry the man who took it. She has no choice in the matter.

Then there’s the wedding. They bride gives her mother-in-law a cloth and drapes it over her shoulders and ties it at the front. Then the bride, groom, and all the family kneel down and each member of the family blesses the couple with petals. If the family is large, this could take up to 3 hours or more. After all the blessing is done, the party begins. The dancing continues until the mother-in-law takes off the cloth. She can take the cloth off in acceptance of her son’s wife or to show her disapproval of his choice. If she disapproves, I think it’s allowed for the son to choose another wife. Anyways, during the party there is dancing and eating. The typical meal is homemade tortillas, soup with rice and chicken, and hand-ground coffee.

Also demonstrated was the grounding of the coffee and tortilla-making. As well, the different kinds of cloths the women weave, how they are used, and how it’s done. These women, I tell ya, are and were VERY intelligent. They use one cloth for 5 different things … carrying things as a purse, covering up when it’s cold, draping over their heads when the sun is high and hot, strapping their children to their bodies, and as a base to help carry pots of water or other unstable things atop their heads. Absolutely amazing.

And the weaving. Wow! Such detail! Some weaves take only one woman to make. But others take several. She straps the tapestry to a rope hanging from a tree or something high up. Then she straps the part she’s working on around her butt, kneels down, and begins working. She then works for up to 6 hours in one day in that position, every day, for up to 6 months, depending on the design.

The women here, and in other countries I know, are so strong it’s incredible! They carry up to 50 pounds on their heads, with one or two kids strapped to them, and sell stuff on the streets, all at the same time! they kneel for 6 hours straight to make beautiful tablecloths we spill gravy on at dinnertime. They ground coffee and make tortillas, by hand, for every meal. And they do this every day. And more! I’m amazed and have great respect for them … I could never be that strong.

It’s now nearly 8:30 p.m. as I type this. For the second time I heard a drumming outside, so I decided to get up to see what it was. I’m glad I did. It was the yearly thing called Posadas. Every year a group of people carry a statue of Mary, Joseph, and Jesus and go to different houses to spend the night, every night, until December 23. It symbolizes the journey the famous Biblical family made when all the sons of Egypt were ordered to be killed. They start on the 12th, I think. As they walk they drum on turtle shells and carry little lanterns. There were quite a lot of people. I’m sure most of them were just following for the fun of it. there was also a little bit of singing and firecrackers to accompany. Of course firecrackers. We can’t even wake up around here without those!

So many traditions here. So many interesting things.

no mucho

not much has been going on the past couple of days, activity-wise. just been going to class and counting down the days until Saturday when i leave.

yesterday there was a procession of some kind. i don't know why and i didn't get to see it. i was going to go with my teacher, but she and i got to talking about a bunch of stuff and i thought, "oh, i can go later, it's no big deal." but when later came, i couldn't find it. a bunch of kids dressed up in typical indigenous clothing and danced in the procession. i saw a bunch of the kids after their part was over. they were cute, but i couldn't get any pictures. i'm disappointed i missed the procession and didn't get any pictures. but such is life.

today's activity was to walk to a ceramic studio. it's in this person's house. they have a BUNCH of stuff. lots of pots and cups and candlestick holders. it was ok, but not real informative.

i have taught my teachers how to play "Crazy 8s". i also taught Hugo how to play a couple of solitaire games and an easy version of Rummy. i played cards with Hugo after our break and with Gabi after our activity was over. it's fun to be able to just walk and talk as part of class. and to play cards and Scrabble as part of class. it really helps the time go by.

otherwise, there isn't much to say. i'm happy to be leaving on Saturday. i have finally decided that i could live here if i had a job. but to just hang out for a year in someone else's house, going to school everyday ... nope, thank you, but i'd rather not. i'm glad to have learned a few things while being here. later, maybe after i leave i will post about what all i've learned and my overall opinion on everything i've seen and experienced. right now i have to organize my trip to the airport on saturday. entonces, hasta luego...

my final weekend

saturday:
i posted the blog about the week and pictures. i ate enchiladas on the roof of Cafe Sky, but didn't like them, while reading a book. then i walked to the movie theater to watch Polar Express, but it wasn't open yet. so i sat and waited when another student came walking by and stopped to talk to me. while he talked the lady came to open the theater and almost an hour later the guy left. since i would have missed half the movie, or more, i left and went to Cafe 2000 to see what they were playing. there were supposed to play something at 4, but soccer was on so they were waiting for it to be over or for the place to fill up with people, whichever came first. finally they started the movie, but i can't think of the name of it right now. Pirates of the Caribbean, the second one. i watched most of it, but had to leave before it was over in order to get home in time for dinner. went home, ate dinner, went to bed.

sunday:
finally got up and out of the house around 12:30. i was tired and unmotivated. walked to The Bagel Barn, got my favorite bagel sandwich to go, snuck it into the theater to watch Poseidon. thoroughly enjoyed my sandwich, but only semi-enjoyed the movie. it was a nice distraction and time-waster. then i went to Cafe 2000 to see what they were playing. by this time it was 4 p.m., so i was just wasting more time waiting for dinner. they finally played National Treasure, which i watched completely. it was good; i was surprised. afterward i walked to K & Ribs, the restaurant i ate dinner at my first sunday here (not counting the one i arrived on). i thought it would be fitting. i enjoyed the pulled pork sandwich, fries, soda, and chocolate mousse while reading my book. while i was eating a guy came in, an American, and opened up the doors to a tiny little bar and invited me over for a drink once i was done eating. and so i did. i had a drink with 5 or so strangers, talked a bit, laughed a bit, and left. when i got home, around 9:15, the lower part of the house was empty. i, very excitedly, decided to turn the Christmas tree lights on and lie on the couch, staring at it while listening to Christmas music on my iPod. it was so nice, for about 30-45 minutes, just doing what i wanted to do outside my room but inside the house. i thought about my life, what i want to do, what my options are, etc. then i went to bed.

today:
hugo and i talked the entire time. we talked about life. about the weekend. and didn't do any grammar. it was nice. the time went fast. i hope that will be true of the afternoon as well.

activities

The past few days have been uneventful. I’ve just been going to class and enduring the moments. Gabi, my new teacher in the afternoon, is a lot of fun. She laughs a lot and therefore I laugh a lot. It’s been really good. And this week has been really easy with the lessons in the afternoon. I’ve been tired and have sensed the loss of extra freedom, but it’s doable and ok.

Wednesday afternoon we watched a movie for the activity. It’s called, “Cicatrices” (in English that’s Scars). It’s a Mexican made movie about violence in marriage. The entire movie except the last 5 minutes, seriously, is very sad and angry and bad. The guy verbally abuses his wife, horribly, and when he’s not talking down to her he’s beating her. she finally leaves him. Their son falls off a roof and dies. The woman goes crazy and hates everything. The guy finally finds Jesus. The woman finally gets sober and finds a job. And in the last 5 minutes of the movie they get back together, have a happy marriage, and are pregnant with another child. The end. Needless to say, I left not feeling much better than when I went in. oh well. It was something to do outside of the “classroom”.

Yesterday was an important day here. It was Satan’s birthday. And, once again, there were parties to “celebrate,” here in Antigua and in a town nearby. During class, instead of going with the other students to visit the party in the other town, my teacher and I walked to the area where the fiesta was here in Antigua (4 blocks). There was a very large piñata of Satan. Inside the piñata were firecrackers. Along the street were people selling food. And inside the ruins of something along that same street was a pathway lined with grass and candles leading to 3 statues – 2 angels and Mary. It was pretty, but closed off only to viewing. (i didn't have my camera, so i don't have any pics.)

At 6 p.m. they lit the piñata and blew Satan up. I would have liked to have seen that, but I was very tired of people, and firecrackers and just wanted to go home and rest. And so I did. Apparently a lot of people gather, though, to see Satan get blown up. For their protection, firemen were standing by.

Today the activity was to go to San Andres Itzapa, a town about 30 minutes away by chicken bus, to see the “church” where people worship San Simon. Susanne told me that Hugo told her that the guy sold his soul to the devil for special healing powers. He then healed a bunch of people and they worshipped him. He went to prison, but I don’t know why, and died there. Now people go to this area to pray to him asking for help.

Only two students signed up (me being one of them), but they didn’t cancel it this time. So my teacher and I went with another student and two other teachers to this place. Along the way we missed our stop and ended up going farther than expected. But it was ok. We just got to see a town that none of us had seen before (seriously, the teachers hadn’t even been there – in fact, we don’t even know the name of it). once we arrived in San Andres Itzapa, we walked past the very large Catholic church about 2 or 3 blocks to this very out of the way, very dirty party of town and entered the area where the shrine is.

On the street leading up to the building are people selling food, many Guatemalan things in many other places, and candles. You go through the doorway and there is a large empty area where men are scraping ashes from the earlier rituals of burning incense and things. The building itself is very well painted on the outside, almost like it had just been painted yesterday.

I prayed before going in, asking to feel whatever God wanted me to feel, to have an open mind and heart, and to remain protected from evilness. I walked inside and was surprised to see how small it was and that there weren’t any seats. I guess I assumed it would be a regular church but with the alter of San Simon. But instead there were 8 tables, 4 on each side of the middle aisle, set up for candles to burn. At the front of the “church” were some stairs going up from the left and down to the right. In the middle at the top of the stairs was a large idol of San Simon in a case. Inside the case with him was grass, candles (not burning), bottles of liquor, and cigarettes.

There were two women up there praying and several men waiting at the bottom of the stairs to the left for their turn. When the woman finished, they walked down the stairs on the right backwards. Not sure why, but probably for some respect thing. There were several people standing at the different tables burning candles, praying, and talking out loud to San Simon. One lady was drinking beer and one guy was smoking a cigar. Another woman was praying while her candle(s) were burning and when she finished she turned to leave and I could see she was crying.

The walls were lined with the gratitude plaques like I’ve seen in the San Francisco and San Felipe churches. There was also an offering box in the middle aisle at the front.

It was really warm inside the church, but that’s normal for churches here. I didn’t feel too much, just a lot of heartache and sadness for the people who believe in this guy. I remember Susanne telling me she felt oppressed as soon as she walked in. I don’t know if I felt that. I kind of felt a heaviness, but nothing really strong and sickening. I simply felt heartache. While standing there I prayed for the people who believe in San Simone. I pray that someday they will know the truth. It’s really very sad.

We left after about 20 minutes and walked back to the starting place where the Catholic church is. This is the biggest church I’ve seen since being here. It’s the biggest and the most simple. When we walked in the first thing I noticed was the size. The second thing I noticed was there is no gold in the church. There are the normal statue things at the front of the church, but it’s not grand and overdramatic like in other churches, and it’s not surrounded by gold. I didn’t get close enough to know for sure, but it looked silver. On the righthand side near the back was a section for the Jesus on the cross statues and Him lying down in the coffin. When I saw that I started crying. They are in every church, different ones, but the oppression and sadness I’ve been feeling and was feeling in this town had me feeling extra sensitive this time.

After a few moments I went and sat down and prayed. about 5 minutes or so passed and my teacher came and sat down beside me, put her arm around me, and asked if I was ok. We talked for a minute and then she asked me if I was ready to go. I wasn’t, but the group was so I had to comply. “Si, lista.”

Gabi is a very sweet girl. I found out she’s 24, lives with her parents, has a boyfriend, and likes the sweets. She’s very protective and will make a wonderful mother one day. When crossing the street she puts her hand on my arm and “leads” me across. It’s cute because not only am I older than her, but I’m also much taller than her (of course)! So it makes me laugh because it should be the other way around. :-)

After dinner tonight the family invited me to join them in the ritual of the Christmas tree. This morning Anna decorated it, so tonight they did the Catholic ritual of dedicating it. Anna read from a tiny booklet the history of the tree, in Spanish of course. Then Adolfo read some kind of prayer where in two places Anna and the daughters recited something in unison. At the end they all said Amen.

Then Annie and the grandson, Mario, plugged the tree in. Very pretty. Then Adolfo played The Little Drummer Boy on the harmonica, but no one sang. When he was done the girls started singing some song I’ve never heard of, so I assume it’s a Guatemalan song, and Adolfo accompanied. At the end Mario chimed in. it was a cute little song. Then they talked about normal stuff for a while. And then Anna asked me if we have a special day for the tree. And a bit later the daughters and grandson dispersed and Adolfo showed me random pictures of the family.

It was all very entertaining and interesting.

Apparently there was another small tremor today, but I didn’t feel it. it must have been really small. i'm glad i missed it.

here is a picture of little Mario. he's a very cute boy with a TON of energy. :-)

just stuff

since i didn't study that one week and the school wouldn't refund my money, i am studying for 2 hours extra each day for the rest of my time here. therefore, i have a new teacher for my studies in the afternoon. her name is Gabi. i don't know much about her yet, but i do know that she loves to laugh and loves chocolate. therefore, we get along pretty good so far. :-)

yesterday we spent the first hour and a half getting to know me. the last half hour was spent going over the preposition "por", but only half of the uses. there are 14! today we spent the first hour playing Scrabble and then went over the rest of the uses of "por" and some new prepositions like On, About, Over, Through. needless to say, i have new words to learn. it's a good thing, but it means i need to study.

the wind blew REALLY hard last night. it sounded like our roof was being torn off by 100 crowbars. it was REALLY loud and REALLY interrupting.

my mood is ... hormonal. one second i'm happy, the next i'm angry, and the next i'm crying. *shaking head*

last night i wrote a bunch of things down that will maybe help me decide on a future. things like "what do i want? what do i need? what do i like? how much money do i need?" hopefully this will help me. i felt good about doing it. facing it. made me feel like i'm moving past the depression stage. it's not over, but maybe it's subsiding.

mucho frio!

it's really cold here today. there is no sun and only clouds, so we are all freezing.

FYI: a friend back home told me the earthquake registered 5.8. that seems really big to me! i'm glad it didn't feel as big as it sounds. nonetheless, i don't want any more.

after the earthquake, i went to Cafe 2000 to watch "Click". a very good movie, in case you are wondering. before the movie started a guy from Mexico talked with me in Spanish. his name is Marcos. a very nice little Latino. :-) then we watched the movie. ordered nachos and talked some more. then "Trainspotting" started. very, VERY strange movie. all about drugs. i didn't like it. then Erwin showed up, near the end. shortly thereafter, Jackie, one of the girls who lived in our house for a couple of days, from Oregon, showed up. so after the movie had lots of people to talk to. but mostly just to Jackie. we caught up on our doings and then i said goodbye to Marcos and left with Erwin to go to some restaurant.

we walked down the street and into a very pretty place with live music. it was really pretty and is run by an American. we h ad a little bit of food and talked and at 9:45 we left and took a tuk-tuk to my house to drop me off. Erwin was strange last night and i was uncomfortable. hopefully the next time i see him he won't be so strange. i don't know why, he just was.

anyways, class today was normal. but now i have to go home for lunch, add some clothing to my body, and come back here for my first extra two hours. i hope it'll go well. hasta luego!

earthquake

you're not going to expect this to come out of my "mouth", but we just had an earthquake. it's true. i have now experienced everything i am going to experience, i think, in Guatemala, and am ready to come home now. i've had enough. let me share with you how it felt...

i'm sitting here in the cafe, minding my own business, listening to semi-sucky jazz music and wishing my butt didn't hurt so much from sitting on this hard bench. i'm IMing with a friend and translating spanish when all of a sudden the building starts moving, as if someone picked it up and started running down the street with it on their shoulders. at first i didn't really notice. but then it dawned on me that i was indeed moving! and the guy next to me says, "it's an earthquake."

me, in the denial i am in for wanting to be in something disasterous, say, "no it's not." and he counters, "then what is it?" eek! i look around at others to get some kind of comfort, but the girls who work here, Guatemalans mind you, are smiling and walking toward the door to look outside! i follow them with my eyes and see the car across the street rocking back and forth as the guy continues to wash it. the guy next to me has gotten up and stood in the doorway to his left, the innermost part of this tiny little cafe.

i am officially freaked. i wonder, should i get up? should i stay put? should i try to save my computer? *L* finally, it stops. it lasted about 20 seconds and was so small nothing fell over, off, down, etc. and everyone continued to work as if nothing was happening. amazing!

it should be said, this was my very first earthquake. i really do not want to live in California where this is a common occurance. nor here, much longer, for that matter. thank you very much, Guatemala, for your hospitality, but i think i'd like to return to the cold and snow and safety of my United States home.

out in Antigua

i went out with Erwin last night. we met up at 9:30 and went to this club called the Kazbah, or somehting like that. we arrived shortly after they opened, so it was slow. the cool thing here is you pay the cover and it includes a free drink like whisky, vodka, or rum & coke. some places includes a beer. so erwin had a beer, i had a rum and coke. i started feeling a little bit, but just enough to loosen up a little. we left a little later cuz no one was dancing and he wanted to show me another club.

we found a tuk-tuk and he took us to a placed called Torero's. this was a local place. it's on the outside of town, on the other side of the bus lot, and had spanish music and a bunch of locals just hanging out and dancing like they like to do. so we got our drink there and joined in. we danced a lot there and had 3 drinks in the next two hours. by the third one (now my fourth total), i had had enough. i was really feeling it, but was still just fine to walk and talk and such. but i was talking a LOT, like i do when i get drunk. just as we were leaving this little Guatemalan guy asked me to dance with him. so we danced until the end of the song, then we left. he was a cute little guy, short like they all are here. but it was fun. :-)

we left and walked to another place that supposedly has a lot of salsa dancing. but there were so many people in there you couldn't have walked in, let alone found a place to dance. so we left. tuk-tuked back to the kazbah just as they were about to close 30 minutes early because the police wanted to do some kind of check search thing. weird.

so we went across the street to a mexican restaurant called Frida's to maybe see about something salty to eat and just chill for a bit. BUT, they were closing at 1, like EVERY PLACE HERE, and so they would only serve us drinks. not even chips and salsa. so when it was time to close we left, tuk-tuked to my house to drop me off, adios amigo, and i went to bed.

overall, it was a fun evening. it was nice to go out and let loose a little bit.

Antigua had a very nice, very long, and very loud parade through town today. i attempted to avoid it because i could see how many people were involved in the watching. i came to The Bagel Barn for breakfast and about 5 minutes later or so, the parade came down the street, right outside the restaurant. so, i had the pleasure of listening and watching as the floats, music, and people went past. they played Christmas music and one float even blew out snow. it was quite entertaining. :-)

now i must continue my job search and studying spanish while i drink canteloupe juice with milk. hasta luego!

food

ya know, food here has been pretty good for the most part. what i am served in the house is usually edible, except the mustard sandwiches. but today ... today i just couldn't get the eggplant down. i've never liked it, and today was no exception. the Czech girl didn't like it either.

the other night we had tostados for dinner. three of them, with lettuce and hamburger meat on top. i was surprised there were no beans, this being a bean culture. but they were really good. and last night we had two sandwiches and cheetos, the CRUNCHY ones! where did they find them? i wondered. these sandwiches were the one we usually eat for breakfast, so it was strange to eat them for dinner. and especially since dinner is usually a lite meal. but they were good and mine were minus the tomatoes. :-)

i have been eating like crazy the past couple of weeks and have gained some weight back. i am also depressed about that. it's a vicious cycle, seeing as how i eat junk food as comfort food when i am depressed, and therefore gain weight. then i get more depressed over gaining weight. i know i'm not alone in that. but man is it hard to deal with. so today i'm trying to avoid the junk. i've only slightly succeeded, which i guess is better than nothing.

*sigh* i'll stop complaining for the moment.

it is official...

i am depressed. i'm trying not to be, but i am.

i am tired of everything right now, and am happy i am leaving in two weeks. yes, my spanish is improving, but i'm tired of the noise, the walking, the food i don't choose, the words i don't understand or know, the ants in my room, the dogs and the roosters and the kids playing outside. i'm just tired of everything.

i really hope i snap out of this before next week. otherwise, studying for 6 hours a day is going to be really bad.