the holidays

(NOTE: this has turned into much more than intended, both context and quantity. read at your own risk.)

it's that time of year again. this same week last year i was walking the streets of Antigua, Guatemala, admiring people, churches, colors, differences. i was speaking Spanish with locals and bartering for Christmas presents. i ate spaghetti for dinner. it was warm and sunny all day and felt absolutely nothing like "Thanksgiving."

a year later, i'm wondering, "what DOES Thanksgiving feel like?" i guess i thought living in Texas again, maybe that "feeling" would come back to me. but instead, the entire Thanksgiving holiday has crept up ever-so-discreetly, practically forgotten about because of the "Christmas-Revolt". it used to feel like something. i used to anticipate it. i used to look forward to it. i guess because it meant seeing my family, enjoying our time together, eating delicious food, and being reminded that Christmas was right around the corner.

but now ... now it's just another day, another month, another year. i think it means i'm getting older. i'm realizing just how fast time is passing me by. i can't believe an entire year has passed. i can't believe that tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day. and it certainly doesn't help that EVERY store in the ENTIRE United States (yes, that MIGHT be an exaggeration, but i'm fairly close i'm sure) is all decked out in Christmas, and most were already decorating BEFORE Halloween, for crying out loud!

i'm sorry, but decorating earlier and earlier does NOT help my spirit. if anything, it makes me despise Christmas as a holiday worse and worse each year. i guess i shouldn't get started on this because i'm liable to tick somebody off. but "we" have made every holiday, but especially Christmas, into such a material production that it really turns me off to celebrations or decorations or anything else. i mean, really, why should i put up a tree at my house and listen to Christmas music when EVERYWHERE i go i see and hear the same stuff? i get more than my fill just going to the grocery store. by the time Christmas finally arrives, i've had ENOUGH of blinking lights and Santas and "Jingle Bells."

it used to be SPECIAL. and now it's not. and it just makes me sad. and the more materialistic "we" make it, the more it leaves the TRUE meanings in the dust.

to make a long story long...

Happy Thanksgiving. instead of thinking about all the turkey and stuffing and pumpkin pie you're gonna eat, think about the blessings in your life and thank God for those things. be thankful, and reminded, of the promises of God, and the ULTIMATE blessing He provided.

next month, instead of worrying about what to buy for each member of the family as time quickly passes, forget the materialism of the holiday and focus on THE BIGGER PICTURE ... JESUS CHRIST! He left His perfect home, His perfect Father, and made Himself lower than angels, in order to fulfill the plan of God to SAVE YOUR SORRY SOUL. that's what you should be focused on, every day, but especially during Thanksgiving AND Christmas.

forgive my preaching. i didn't meant to go off like that. i truly believe "each to their own," so if you want to put up your tree and lights before Thanksgiving, go right ahead. if you want to buy each person you know five presents they don't need, that's fine. and if you never think of Jesus even once during this holiday season, that's ok too. i won't hold it against you, and neither will He. :-) all i ask from you is that you try to understand that i just "long for the days of old."

random pics

here are some random pictures i thought i'd share with you. first is the latest stage of the patio ... since then i've added some more rocks, changed some plants out, and still need to do some more work to it all, but this is what it looked like last week. :-)

now here's the front of my mom's house. and the leaves in the yard. and the leaves in the side yard. and the leaves in the neighbor's yard. i've never cared about leaves before because, to my knowledge, i've never raked, or had to rake, or bothered to rake, leaves before. so now i'm looking at all these leaves wondering, "do we have to rake them? is that going to be MY task? and what do we do with them once we've raked them up???"

and these are self-explanatory....

patio

check out our patio. it's ALMOST finished. :-)

manual labor, oh my!

it's been two weeks at my new job. everything is still going well. this last week i designed a couple of more ads, organized the used website inventory (those four external sites i was talking about in the last post), and updated our website with a few things.

in addition to technological work, mom and i have taken our backyard to a new level ... well, we're trying to anyway. i don't have any before pictures, because when i got the shovel in my hand i just started digging instead of thinking, "i should take a picture first." but, i have an after picture of one section of our project. this is our fountain. this took two weeks to finally get right, and even then it's not perfect. but, it looks pretty good and makes water sound and has a ledge for the future squirting frog. :-)

we're also in the process of digging up an 8' x 20' section of the yard to extend our patio (pretend you were me taking this picture ... that section of yard is to your left). needless to say, my body hurts from head to toe and we still have all the dirt of that section to dig out and do something with. what do you do with dirt you don't want anyway? hmmm....

we're not going to do anything fancy. we're just going to make a rectangle with some cement blocks (16" or 24" each) and then plant some flowers/plants between the new patio and the fountain. and THEN we'll be done with my "brilliant idea."

you know, i'm starting to see a pattern. every time i take on a home-do-it-yourself-project, in the middle of it i discover i never want to do that again. the same is true of this project. it sounded and looked great in my head, but my body is screaming and cursing at me and now my head is saying, "remember this next time you come up with some brilliant idea. please."

oh well, live and learn...

another ad

this was ad number 3 and 4, designed as one image to be on a full-page of our local newspaper.

the last two days have been spent on less-creative endeavors. we advertise our used inventory on four different websites, plus our own. the four external sites were disorganized, to say the least, and i've been working on organizing them to include all our used inventory, with correct information and pictures, on all four sites. it's daunting and tedious, but i'm getting it done.

next week i have to create at least two ads that i know of, maybe more. the first is one just like i did my first day on the job. we run an ad in a classifieds paper every week, so that's always something i have to do on monday (or earlier, if i'm ever given the info ahead of time). the rest of the ads run once a month or occasionally.

the first week has been pretty good. not much talking happening though, so i kind of feel lonely a little, but hopefully with time i'll start "fitting" in.

selling tractors and such...

it's been two days and i've created four ads to sell tractors, hay balers, backhoes, ATVs, and other pertinent things with specials like 0% for 36 months. here's how these days have gone...

monday i arrived to fill out two little forms, see how the timeclock works, and clean off my desk. then i organized what little office supplies i had in my area and acquainted myself with my computer. then i installed a trial version of Adobe CS3 that my boss downloaded over the weekend for me. i altered an ad to include our info and tagline (like they've been doing) and went to lunch. that afternoon i redesigned the ad to be double the size and completely new art. i worked on that until the end of the day. my boss took one look at it, said it was good, and handed it over to another guy. he made a couple little changes, said it looked good, i fixed them, and then was given approval. the entire process took about 10 minutes and was very matter-of-fact.

i worked this morning for about two hours on new logo ideas. then i designed my second ad, with new artwork. that one was approved by one person, which included being looked at for about five seconds and then he said, "ok, good, send it to so-and-so. i like it." a bit later it was time for lunch. this afternoon i worked on two ads that were to be side-by-side on the same page for our Outdoors company. this one was the hardest so far because i was given much less direction and had to search longer for certain images. at ten minutes after 5 the manager of the Outdoors store came over to discuss the ad. so tomorrow morning i'll make those few changes and then send it to the paper.

also this afternoon, while i was waiting for feedback about the Outdoors ads, i got oriented with the inventory system and the website. i made a few minor changes that hadn't been made since July and learned a shortcut in Dreamweaver i didn't know about yet.

i've met about 10 people there. 10 out of 25+. people seem nice, but stick to their areas of work and tend to keep busy with actual work. the phone rings constantly. the receptionist answers the phone, puts that person on hold, then calls over the loudspeaker, "sales, line 5" and things of the like, ALL DAY LONG. it's weird. never been in this kind of environment before. it's just like a car dealership, except we're selling farm equipment. i never would have guessed.

i have my own cubicle with one wall. it's situated in the sales department. i have a window. it's warm in the mornings and cold in the afternoons. i have a good computer with a widescreen LCD monitor. i have as stapler and a pair of scissors and a couple of pens and paper clips. :-)

the owners are married, their kids are the managers (one at the regular store, my boss, who's basically just a kid (20-ish) and the other at the Outdoors store, also just a kid), the Outdoors' manager's wife is the receptionist. a lady in accounting is married to a service tech. and i'm sure there are other relationships i haven't learned about yet.

so anyway... just thought i'd share that overall it's good. :-)

you're hired!

i got hired for the job today! :-) went in at 10:30 and met with two of the three people i was supposed to meet with. talked for a nearly an hour and finally was offered the job. full-time, M-F, 8-5, website maintenance and coordination/design of all advertising. yay for me! :-)

interview

9:45 a.m.
i just got off the phone with a very nice, Christian lady who runs the tractor company in town. get this ... she ran into the monument man, the guy who wants me to be his computer tutor who is handling my dad's headstone, at Subway a couple of days ago. one of his favorite questions is "where do you go to church" so she tells him Champion Fellowship, the new church i was going to for the music. he says he knows someone who goes there and tells her my name, that i'm looking for a job, and that i'm a computer guru. later she remembers meeting a Jenny at church one Sunday (which is true, we both remember meeting each other during the meet and greet time of the service) and thought she might see me yesterday, but i didn't go yesterday (i went to the country church with mom instead). ANYWAY .... i didn't go, so she didn't find me, so we didn't talk.

so we talked for about 20 minutes. she needs someone dedicated to updating their website and doing all the other advertising needs they have. they have someone, but he's actually supposed to be doing other things like sales or something and can't really dedicate as much time as it takes to keep the website current. she says it could be full- or part-time, depending on my needs, because i mentioned doing work for Parcel Plus as well.

8:00 p.m.
just got home from dinner and found a message on the machine from Carol at the tractor company. i called her back and told her i'd love to meet with her and the other necessary people at 10:30 tomorrow morning. she says, "you don't have to dress up or anything, we all wear blue jeans around here." perfect for me! :-) so i'll go tomorrow to the tractor company and see what happens.

i'm excited, especially because they sound like nice people to work for. plus, given the fact that the last two weeks i've been trying to learn a particular website software, it just seems like God is really working and that what i've been learning is going to actually be helpful. i've just been very aware today of how very cool it is how He puts all the little pieces together, isn't it? :-)

job

a couple of weeks ago i met with a woman who runs a mailing/shipping/gift store and also has a marketing firm inside of it run by herself and her husband. she contracts out a lot of graphic design work and talked with me briefly about the possibility of freelance work and maybe part-time work in the store. she finally was able to meet with me again today to have a real conversation about it all.

this afternoon i met with her and the guy she gives a lot of the major graphic work to. we sat fairly casually and talked about their needs/ideas and my needs and 45 minutes later we parted. their ideas are that i work part-time in three different roles. 1) counter help in the store, 2) graphic work through her marketing firm (small things, stuff that doesn't require a ton of art direction), 3) graphic work for the lead designer on a contract basis.

the hope is that between the three jobs i will stay busy, challenged, and financially stable enough to move out of Mom's house and support myself here in Brenham.

she is going to talk with her husband about the gross amount i need, then further think/discuss about the three jobs to figure out what it would more closely look like and get back to me (hopefully soon).

in the meantime, i'm continuing to teach myself a complicated, yet widely-used web application. it's good that i've been learning it, because it came up in our discussion today. so my eagerness to learn actually proved helpful today ... and, it motivated me to continue learning, even though i was highly frustrated with the program earlier today. :-)

Cozumel pics

pictures are up. i took 90, but only picked out the best ones to show you. click here. :-)

random

i was thinking, i didn't share other stuff, so this is the random info part of Cozumel.

i got to speak spanish to everyone. i didn't have to, because everyone spoke english, a requirement to work there. but when they realized i spoke a little spanish, they wanted to talk to me in spanish. they had to repeat things several times and say it slowly, but i had nice little conversations with several people. this one guy i spoke to entirely in spanish, some random parking attendant about the paying to use their beach, the fish, and where best to go if we wanted to snorkel. it was cool cuz we both understood each other rather well and it proved to mom that i actually learned something in guatemala. :-)

shells were EVERYWHERE on our beach. they were TINY and WHITE and nothing spectacular, but there were literally thousands (100s of 1000s) along our beach. we had to walk through them to get from the sand to the water, which was VERY painful. then they'd be in the water. and then would be a small section of rocks or big shells you had to pass through, but all in the sand, and then just sand. it was weird. and we've never seen so many shells before. and if you walked further down you could see those big conch shells, none of them perfectly whole.

the sun was HOT and painful. there was no shade when walking around the resort because there weren't very many trees, nor are palm trees really big enough to provide much shade. but they had lots of thatched-roof umbrellas on the beach to sit under, which wasn't only helpful, but necessary.

there weren't tons of people, which was nice ... plenty of room for everyone and no need to fight over lounge chairs. but the night before we left more people arrived, so for breakfast the morning we left there were lots more people. but overall, business was really slow, so unfortunately for them they were losing money on that all-inclusive deal.

this place is a five-star resort, very nice, and we recommend staying there if you ever go. but keep in mind that five star in mexico versus five star in america is going to be a little different. the flies, for example, would have americans screaming up a storm in america. but in mexico everyone just goes with the flow and doesn't say a word. the food was tasty and pretty and filling, but it was just normal food, "not gourmet," as one of the guests commented. and no, it wasn't gourmet for america, but it WAS gourmet for mexico. they could have just served us all beans, rice, and tortillas. :-)

oh, the iguanas! there were iguanas running around the grounds of our resort, so when walking to breakfast or to the pool we'd see them in the grass just watching life go by. and there were lizards, too. green, black, brown, small and medium sized. i think they all lived under our huts. fun!

life in Cozumel

my mom decided she needed to get away, but didn't want to get away by herself. so she took me with her to Cozumel to lie on the beach and do nothing for three days. nothing real exciting took place, because as i just said the purpose was to do nothing, and so we did.

we arrived thursday just after lunch. we found our greeter just outside the airport waiting to help us with our transportation to the hotel. very nice guy who got 12 of us into the van and then another guy drove us to the airport in the wild-Cozumel-taxi-driving way. we checked in and were given wristbands to prove we were all-inclusive and shown the direction toward our room. the resort was beautiful. an open air reception area with flowers and birds and a fountain just outside. all the rooms were in thatched-roof huts, eight rooms to a hut. we walked past flowers and shrubs and palm trees to our room, where patio furniture and a hammock were waiting on our porch. inside was a normal hotel room, two beds, a couple of chairs, a small table, and a tv. a normal hotel bathroom with a hair dryer, iron, coffee pot, and room safe. but what made it special was the towel animal of an elephant left on the bed.

it was lunchtime, so after dropping our stuff in the room we made our way a very short distance to the pool area where lunch was served buffet style every day. there was a hot grill waiting to cook your choice of chicken, pork, or beef. then already cooked were potatoes, french fries, various meats, veggies, pasta, fruit, salad, and dessert. we dipped up our plate, found a place to sit down, and then inquired of the bar about our drinking privileges ... all-inclusive really does mean, at least in this case, all you can eat and drink of anything you want. and so we ordered and drank freely (but responsibly, of course) and helped ourselves to the buffet two or three times. the only bad part about this dining outside for lunch were the flies. they were everywhere and always trying to eat our food before we could eat it. and then the bees and flies would attack our drinks. so, unfortunately, we were always fanning something.

after lunch we began our lounging and doing nothing. around 6-ish we made our way to the restaurant at the front of the hotel for dinner. this was buffet style too, but they also have a reservations-only dining room where you order off the menu. we decided to do the buffet the first two nights and the dining room the third night ... on the buffet the first night was mexican food (not all was mexican-style, but that was the theme of the night) ... and since business was slow, they only had one of the menu-restaurants open each night and the next night the mexican restaurant was open ... that would have been mexican two nights in a row. so we chose to do the seafood buffet the second night and then the italian menu-restaurant the third night. it all worked out well and provided lots of variety.

they provided entertainment each night around 9 p.m. The first night they had games outside (for free) where you played to win fake money to spend at the auction later on. so we played and hung out until the show started. after the show they had an auction where you bid to win items like a cheap necklace or a bottle of tequila. of course you win it for free, since the money was fake, so that made it even more fun. we didn't see anything we wanted to bid on, so we ended up giving our $19 to another couple who were trying to win the bottle of tequila, the last item of the night. they were furiously bidding against some other people and ran out of money. well, the other people had already won two other things, so we gave the couple our money to help win the tequila. and then a woman gave them hers. and then a girl. and finally, after all the pooled money, they outbid the other people and won. it was fun.

so the shows at night ... the first night we had mexican dance. six or eight very good dancers showed us different styles of dance from each state in Mexico. the second was a fire show by two young guys who had no fears of being burned up. and the third night was an international dance show, same dancers from the first night, but this time dancing different styles from spain, argentina, columbia, mexico, and cuba. all the entertainment was actually quite good, but the fire show was the best in my opinion. it was just different and dangerous and exciting. :-)

during the day they would have different activities like water volleyball, beach volleyball, a fashion show, horseshoes, and other things posted on a schedule. in addition to the two pools, jacuzzi, beach, and ocean activities, they had shuffleboard, tennis, a gym, and a spa. in the ocean the all-inclusive activities were all non-motorized sports ... snorkeling, boogie board, sailing, and kayaking.

so our second day was spent on the beach, lounging around in the sun, in the shade, and in the water. we snorkelled, we read, we kayaked, and we ate/drank at scheduled meal times. the snorkeling was ok, but not wonderful ... it was just regular water and sand there on our beach, so the really pretty fish weren't around because there was no coral for them to live in. we did see fish, but only a few and only white or black ones. BUT ... i saw a sting ray. and a big one at that. :-) i was on my way back to the beach when there it was. i was so shocked i moved away from it. it was a distance away and it was at the bottom, but still ... i didn't know how it might feel about me following it, so i didn't. i moved a little to the right and let it move a little to the left and after a few seconds we drifted far enough apart that i couldn't see it anymore. so i hurried on back to short to tell of my news. it was VERY cool, but enough scary that i didn't go back out ... i wanted to go find it again, but for some reason i was a little scared to.

the third day we decided to rent a car and drive around the island to see what else there is to Cozumel. after about an hour of driving, we determined ... there's not much to Cozumel. pretty much all activity is happening on the west side of the island just above and below the main city of San Miguel. if you love sunbathing/swimming, shopping, or water sports, this is a nice place to come. otherwise, you don't need to spend more than a day or two here. there's nothing on the east side except waves. no people, no activity, and not much room to pull off the road. it's very isolated and the entire 30 miles or whatever that we drove on that east side was spent with only a handful of other drivers. it was weird. but the waves were nice to see and listen to. :-)

from the air you can see the island ... there's nothing in the middle except trees. no roads, no villages, nothing ... just trees. it makes sense that they wouldn't bother with the inside since everyone comes to Cozumel for the beach, but it feels weird to drive down a road for 30+ miles and never see a turn off to another road, a house, or in some places another car! but such is life in Cozumel.

we tried to find snorkeling sites for the afternoon, but didn't have much success. we finally just took the car and snorkeling gear back and called it quits with a margarita. :-) then we got dressed for our very nice italian dinner.

dinner was nice. we had very attentive waiters, wine, a bread basket, and four courses of delicious choices ... salad, pasta, meat, and dessert. all of it was very good and beautifully-plated, but the dessert was not very good at all. the dessert as a whole at this place was always disappointing ... it usually looked great, but tasted icky. but otherwise, it was wonderful.

today we ate breakfast, packed, and sat on the beach reading for a couple of hours before checking out. after we checked out, we gave our bag to the bellman and ate lunch. then we got our taxi to the airport and flew home. the airport is so small and so efficient it only took us five minutes to check in, go through security, and find our gate. (airport-recommended two hours ahead of time is a joke, just FYI for any future travelers.)

so, in sum, it was wonderful, beautiful, and fun. yes, traveling with "panic-snoring-drunk mom," and "hormonal-indecisive jenny" had its moments, but overall we had a great time. :-) definitely two or three days is good enough. and DEFINITELY all-inclusive is the way to go!

go!

i have officially begun my job search. about a week ago, i re-applied at Walgreens to work in the pharmacy. Monday the manager called me for an interview. it went well, involving casual conversation and a test. but the interview was to work in the photo lab and second in cosmetics for pretty low pay.

that night i got motivated ... finally. i submitted my resume to two or three places online and planned my route for the next day. so yesterday i went out with resumes in hand and filled out three applications in town and even had a mini-interview with the HR guy at Blue Bell. i applied for any job at BB, a 911 operator for the city, and a graphics person at a trophy shop. then i came home and applied for three different computer related positions at Blinn College, all of which i'm not really qualified for, but assured them in my cover letter that i could learn quickly.

and yesterday afternoon, while i was running around applying, the manager at the Walgreens called and asked i call him back. i didn't know what to tell him if he did offer me the job, so i slept on it. i just got off the phone with him, and sure enough he offered me the job. i thanked him and told him i would like it, but asked if i could think about it more over the weekend before accepting it.

*sigh* every job i've ever had, i just realized, i've only interviewed one time during my search and ended up being asked to stay. which is wonderful, don't get me wrong. it's very assuring and good and wonderful. BUT ... all of those other times i NEEDED a job and/or WANTED the job i was applying for. this one, i'm not so sure about because of where my heart is, because of the pay, because of the wishy-washy hours, because of .... the list could go on, but i'll spare you.

but, maybe nothing else will come along? maybe this is where God wants me? and maybe, just maybe, in 6 months or less, i would start training to be a pharmacy technician and maybe get the job in another 6 months and then i'd be making a lot more and would have great training for the future and ....

i don't know what to do. but i have a few days to think about it. thankfully he positively agreed to let me think it over until tuesday. so, while i'm laying on the beach in Cozumel drinking Piña Coladas, i'll be thinking and praying and hoping for answers.

in the meantime, i appreciate your prayers as well. and if you get any confirmations or red flags or anything, please send them my way.

procrastination at its finest

i'm a procrastinator. i'm not one with ALL things, but there are things i just plain avoid until the last possible moment. one of these most recent things is getting a job. my way of procrastinating is by researching every possible idea i can come up with and traveling. where am i going NOW??!! thanks to my mom's desire to travel and non-desire to do it alone, we're going to Cozumel for a few days. :-)

we'll fly down there next thursday morning, stay three nights, and come home sunday afternoon. it's an all-inclusive plan where we lie on the beach, drink whatever, eat three (or four) meals every day, snorkel, swim, work on our tans, and logically shouldn't have to pay for anything else because we paid it up front. according to the website and the few reviews i read, it should be fun and relaxing and beautiful.

in spite of my procastination, i am getting closer to applying for jobs. i've had several different thoughts about which avenue to pursue. riverboat cruising? airline customer service? a desk job? graphics? houseparent? pharmacy tech? and so many others. part of my hesitation is the idea that i returned to texas to be with/near my family. if i then move to a larger city hours away, then i'll see them only a couple times a month. and, while that's ok at times, it sorta defeats the purpose of moving back to texas, at least in my head it does. but if i stay in Brenham, where i'll see them all the time, i may not find a contentable (yes, i think i just made up a new word) job. and so ... i continue to think, process, pray, research .... a.k.a. procrastinate.

BUT ... i did finally narrow it down to what was most important to me in working. 1) serve God. 2) serve His people. 3) make my family proud. 4) earn enough money for bills and food. 5) travel with whatever money and time is leftover.

with that established, i can now rule out certain ideas and further process others.

and in the meantime, i'll enjoy Cozumel. :-)

happy anniversary to....

it just occurred to me.... i've had this blog running for one year exactly, to the day. so though i don't have anything to say, i couldn't let today pass without saying something.

this last year has been quite a trip ... chocked full of life and change, laughter and tears, confusion and frustration ... pretty much a little bit of everything. and what's messed up is that a year later, after so much, i'm in almost the same place as i was then with knowing what to do with my life. let's do a little recap...

a year ago i was contemplating change. so i went on a cruise, for vacation, but to also try to see it from an employee standpoint. i came back and basically quit my job to go to language school in Guatemala. while there learning Spanish i lost my job completely. then i sold my house and moved to Texas. i worked for a while, but didn't like it. my dad died. i moved in with my mom into a new house. just recently i spent three weeks in Europe. and today, i'm blogging about the last year in my pajamas on a Tuesday.

the only thing i can say is ... ... i survived. i grunted through the tough times and came out successful. and i learned things, in every way possible.

it would have been so much easier had i gone on vacation, gone to Guatemala to learn Spanish, and just come back to Colorado to continue working at OC. but, had it happened like that, this blog wouldn't have nearly as much text in it. :-)