realization

ok, i got a little sidetracked with various tasks and forgot i was supposed to be posting more often. so here's another thought that i had from over a month ago in relation to my trip to Colorado.

realization: if you allow yourself the freedom to stay in the broken place your heart is in, you will continue to stay there far longer than actually necessary.

this is a tricky thought to actually explain .... .... .... basically what i'm getting at is that, while it's not ok to stuff your feelings, emotions, pain, etc., ignoring that they exist so you don't feel ANYthing, it's also not ok to allow yourself the freedom to wallow. i've done both and have found, at least for myself, that it's ok to be in that place for a period of time. but if you stay in that broken, sad, hurting place, with the excuses your head continually comes up with, you don't allow yourself to heal and move on. i think this is true of grief. divorce. psychological problems. so many different things. whatever has you in the negative place. if you continue to tell yourself that it's ok to be where you are because of the circumstance, you'll continue to stay there.

the fact is, it's FAR easier to stay in the broken place than to heal. it's comfortable. it's safe. it's usually not fun, but it's known and therefore not scary. to allow healing and growth is scary because it's unknown. where are you going to end up afterward? who are you going to be? will you have the same things, the same people around, the same thoughts and feelings about stuff? only God knows. and that's scary. that's what keeps you frozen in the place that you actually don't want to be in.

so what's the answer? well, that's different for everyone i guess. but i think the first step is to tell yourself that it really IS ok to emotionally heal and move on. if you start telling yourself that, it'll be easier to accept the changes that will start occurring. if you start telling yourself that it's ok to grow and change, i think your heart will start listening and WANT to change.

i understand everyone is different. and i understand this could be a touchy subject for some. please remember that these are my thoughts and realizations about my life. i share it all not as judgement to others, but rather with the hope that the pains in my life can bring someone else blessing and encouragement.