sale pending

my house is in the process of being sold! :-) the closing is May 2, so i'm thinking of returning to Colorado the week of April 9 to pack up my stuff and say "see ya later" to friends and mountains.

i continue to work really hard at Sonic. the hours on my feet are still very tiring and painful, but i'm getting more used to it as each hour passes. the girls are warming up to me, for the most part, and most of us are getting along a lot better now, but the work is still enormously busy, hectic, and somewhat stressful on a continual basis. i've mostly been working in the front doing drinks and ice cream, but one night last week i worked in the kitchen, and i've been training a couple of girls in the front. that's helped speed the last week up a bit ... i need changes in my job like that.

otherwise, things are good. :-)

change

i worked a full week in the front ... i made drinks, smoothies, shakes, sundaes, cones, blasts, slushes, and scooped a truck full of ice. i was thrilled to have a day off. it was nice to not have to stand up for 8+ hours on Sunday. :-)

but monday brought another full day of work, but with talk of moving to the kitchen. i was happy to talk about it and consider it, but scared to commit to it. but today i had no choice. i was delegated. :-)

so for two hours i worked in the kitchen doing a little of everything. it was slow enough that i was able to dress a burger and learn what goes on a chicken strip wrap w/o feeling pressure to perform under 10 seconds. but around 4:00 or so i got put on the grill to cook meat. Tuesdays are half-price burger night, so we have to have a TON of meat ready to go after 5. so, i learned what to do on the grill and worked it until 8. i cooked meat, bacon, and grilled chicken, and cleaned the grills. it was hot, splattery, and easy. i handled it well. :-)

and so, that's about all i have to say about that. OH, the guys in the kitchen are WAY cooler than the girls in the front. they joke with me. they introduce themselves to me. they ask me how long i've been working there. they welcomed me and said it was cool to have me working in the kitchen with them. it was much easier to handle mentally because of the crew.

my house is selling. the inspection was on monday. don't know yet how that went, but assume since i haven't heard anything that it went fairly easy. not really sure when i'll get back to Colorado to pack it all up, but if all continues to go well i'll have to be out of there by the end of April.

i guess that's about it for now.

oh, and trailer life is just fine. :-)

progress report

i'm faster. i'm learning where things are. i'm mastering the ice cream and blending machines. i'm remembering the differences between items that sound and look alike. basically, i'm getting better. but i'm still tired.

and not only am i getting better at the front, i'm observing things i do and do not like that happen throughout the day with the employees and managers. if i can survive and be successful at my attempt to manage a store, i know what will and will not happen in MY store that is allowed in this one. i'm thankful for the chance to be a witness to these things. hopefully i'll be better for it.

our averages for today were under 5o seconds for drinks and just under two minutes for food. that's REALLY fast (and consistent from day to day), but apparently not fast enough. according to a managers meeting yesterday, it is a desire of someone (probably corporate) to get food out even faster. some stores are reporting 50 seconds for food! that's crazy and probably unacceptable as far as quality goes. then you have the other extreme ... i'd go to a store in Colorado and wait over five minutes just for a drink!

honestly, if i were managing right now, i'd be more than happy with three minutes for food. not only is that still very fast, but then it doesn't put so much pressure on the front to make a drink with a ton of fizz be ready to go out when the food's ready, especially when they have ten+ other drinks to make, plus ice cream items like banana splits and blasts (read dairy queen blizzard copy cat). two people in the front can only do so much. and five people in the kitchen can't do much better.

maybe i'm wrong, but i'm thinking if you spend a little more time making the food, you could cut a member of your team from having to be there, therefore serve the same amount of customers with less cost for labor. please tell me, am i wrong? i probably am. and i'll probably learn that the hard way one day when i have a chance to make the schedule. oh well.

anyways ... that's what i'm thinking and going through right now. i'm very tired and very ready for my day off. i'm going to drive to my parents' house on saturday after work, spend the night, and then spend sunday with my family doing sit-down things. :-)

just two more days, just two more days....

it's only day two?

oh my goodness. i've worked 20 hours and it seems like a week has gone by. wait, that sounds familiar. oh yeah! Guatemala! wow ... talk about similarities.

today was my long day ... 11 hours with no break, no sitting, no casual dining, and hardly any talking. i'm exhausted, again.

the positive is that i almost mastered the ice cream machine today. i successfully made several items without making a huge mess (but once i didn't have such success). the trick is to pull slowly. :-)

the people in this store cuss all the time. they smoke. they move fast. they complain. they talk faster than auctioneers. the girls are rude, bossy, and not afraid to tell you when you do something wrong. the guys are helpful, kind, and actually introduce themselves (to me).

the only time i talked about anything was after work when i Ricky and i were going home. when i was asking him a question, my voice actually sounded weird to me because i hadn't heared it conversationally in so long. throughout the day the only things i say are, "order up", and the names of items. M&M Blast, ice, large cups, chocolate shake, ORDER UP!!!

and now that another day has ended entirely too quickly, i must go to bed and get ready for another one.

first day on the job

oh my ... what have i gotten myself into? eight hours went by and i never sat down, never stood still, never stopped thinking, and didn't even talk to anyone. i have begun...

the ice cream machine doesn't like me ... everytime i touch it it spews ice cream everywhere. i can't remember to use both diet cherry juice and diet Sprite for the Diet Cherry Limeade. and there are two blue drinks that are actually different, but i keep making the same one over and over. i get busy making drinks for one order, but when i look up there are seven more and then i get lost.

when orders stopped for more than two seconds (which wasn't often, by the way), i filled ice, cups, lids, and limes. well, i should say i tried to fill those items. the minute i returned from the stock room with cups i had more drinks to make.

does it ever stop??? *sigh* i'm tired.

i was told i did much better than i think i did, especially compared with others' first days. but then again, i do have some experience to fall back on, even if it was 13 years ago. i still feel unsuccessful for the most part though. but that's just my perfectionism talking i guess.

my schedule is going to be busy and tiring. i hope i can survive. i think it'll go something like this... monday, thursday, friday, and saturday: 9-5; tuesday: 9-8; wednesday: 4-close. sunday: off. if i'm counting correctly, that's about 51 hours. and no, that doesn't include a break or lunch. for some that's a piece of cake. for me, at this point, it's an entire cake with a couple of tiers and layers. i hope, with a little time, it'll get easier again. today, as my feet and lower back ache, i'm fearful.

i have to remember my first days in Guatemala and how hard and impossible it all seemed. after 5 weeks or so i was feeling a bit successful. hopefully Sonic won't take that long.

a new life

so i've finally decided to go back to work. i'll be working as an assistant manager of a Sonic in Kingwood, Texas. i'll be living about 10 miles away from there in my parents' travel trailer in an RV park. the trailer is a nice one ... 35-feet long, three slide-outs, a fireplace even! and the park is really open and clean, has a pool, laundry, basic cable channels, and wireless internet (and the rent is much cheaper than in an apartment).

one good point is that it's all temporary. the timeframe is unknown, but as soon as i'm ready to be a manager of my own store and a position opens up, i'll be taking it and probably moving again. so, the second good point is that a travel trailer is easy to move (wheels!) and the space is being paid for month to month, so there's no contract i have to get out of. and the third good point is that it's furnished, so i don't have to worry about moving all my stuff from Colorado into a new place just to move it again in 6 months.

when my house sells, i'll move everything into a storage unit nearby and wait until the timing is right to buy a new house.

until then, i start working on Monday (March 12). my cousin owns this particular store, so he's going to be teaching me all the finer points of management. all the operations of the store í'll have to learn on my own with the help of the employees. i'm quite a bit nervous because i haven't worked in such an environment in 13 years. it's fast and crazy nearly all day long, with no breaks, eating while working, hardly sitting down, and 6 days a week. some days i'll have to be there at 6:30 in the morning and others i'll have to start at 4 in the afternoon. granted, i've done all this before, but i was 16 at the time.

anyways...

my family is thrilled to have me close by again. and it's good to have a job where i know the potential for growth is available and totally up to me and my abilities. and even though the temporary-ness of my life right now is kinda freakin' me out, i know that's good too.

so, that's what's going on. i'm not sure when i'm going to make it back to Colorado. this wasn't my initial plan when i left a few weeks ago, but it's the best decision for now. my new plan is to work until my house sells, then come back to Colorado to pack it up and move, then go back to work. hopefully when that happens i'll see most of you for at least a few minutes. :-)

my phone number will stay the same until my house sells. but if you need my physical address, you can mail stuff to my parents' house...

Jenny Mills
c/o Oma Mills
8775 Lone Star Rd.
Washington, TX 77880

i know i can do anything i set my mind to, but i'm worried i don't have the stamina for this kind of work anymore. when you think of me, i would appreciate your prayers for my body. i haven't stood for 8 hours in a long time. thanks. :-)

life in Texas

i've been in Texas for nearly two weeks. a few days after i arrived, my dad was released from the hospital, so i've been here taking care of him.

my days consist of making breakfast, lunch, and sometimes dinner. every four hours i have to give him some medicine. once a day i walk down to check the mail and feed the horses. the rest of my time is spent encouraging my dad to exercise, using the Internet, watching TV, or going to the grocery store. all the other stuff my mom takes care of either before or after work.

things, overall, are going ok. my dad still can't breathe, but he's learning how to deal with it better. he's on oxygen 24/7. the physical therapist comes out three times a week and works with him and has given us at-home exercises to do. he's getting stronger every day as far as muscles in his legs go, but his lungs aren't getting better. nature of the beast, apparently.

the Lord has really been faithful in blessing me with strength, patience, and contentment. i've been really surprised in my ability to talk with both my parents, during conflict even, and be of help.

right now this is where i'm supposed to be and i am content with that. as for my future, i don't know what God has in store for me. i have to wait for that day to come when He chooses to reveal it to me. otherwise, i will continue my work here.

P.S. my house is still for sale. i've had a few more showings, but no offers yet.

help!

i am going to Texas ... don't know how long i will be there, but am staying flexible. basically you can call it a visit since my house hasn't sold yet. therefore, for all those in Colorado, you WILL see me again. as my dad would say, "is that a promise or a threat?" well, both, probably. :-)

in preparing to go there, i've realized how much i failed the last time i was there. my dad was at home for one week and in the hospital for the second week of my visit. and i really didn't handle the situation well at all. basically i withdrew into my mom's camp of the negative and critical natures that are so much a part of me. i withdrew from my dad because i didn't know how to handle him being sick, irritable, at home, and in the hospital. i've never had to do this before, so my first attempt should naturally be awkward and imperfect. however, i still feel badly about it.
and so, for my second attempt, i pray i will be better. i pray i will seek the Lord's wisdom when my dad says, "no, i don't feel like walking." i pray i will not be so critical of everything he does or does not do. and i pray i will find understanding in his situation so i can better relate to him.

overall, i'm not really sure what the Lord has in store for my time there, but i pray, mostly, that i will be a vessel for His love. other than that, i just ask for help from Him to keep me strong and open. i know for a fact that i can't succeed without Him.

tell me a story!

so i went away for about 10 days to visit friends in Florida and Maryland. during the trip, i requested of my friends, "tell me a story!" for whatever reason, none of them were very creative.

being back from Guatemala, i realized i shared too much on this site about my life there. so much so that those who actually read the blog now know everything and don't need to ask any questions, therefore, i don't really get to share any stories.

i can't remedy the problem now, but i have learned what not to do next time.

and so, i will now share about my trip to FL and MD...

i went to Animal Kingdom at Disney World and felt like a kid again. i very much enjoyed myself, but was slightly disappointed in the safari ride. in MD i walked around a VERY large mall, played lots of games, attended a very good concert, felt like a kid again (or at least a teenager), and said a couple of times, "tell me a story!"

i just told you a story, now you tell me one.... :-)

nothing is going on

it's been a "few" days since i've posted, so i thought i'd just write a short note to say, "nothing is going on."

i've just been wrapping things up at my old office, saying goodbye to people, having lots of lunches, etc., with friends and answering lots of questions. i've also started the process of putting my house up for sale. EEK! yes, it's a little scary, but a step of faith that was necessary to take. the sign will probably go up Monday or Tuesday.

in the meantime, my plan is to continue sitting still. i will spend 2 weeks away from here visiting friends in Florida and Maryland. afterward i guess i'll come home and start sifting through all my belongings and separating into piles, as well as start packing up all the stuff i don't need for daily life. all the while, hopefully leaving from time to time in order for prospective buyers to view my house. i hope. i'm really not fond of the idea of it sitting on the market for 6 months, but if it does.... such is life.

so i guess it's official ... i am moving back to Texas. but what i will do there is still in question. i have options, i just need to make decisions. at least i have options.

clarification

it seems some might think that my experience in Guatemala was overall BAD.

i am aware that, by nature, i am a negative person. i try hard not to be, but i am. therefore, i am aware that my blogs, overall, were negative in tone, giving the impression that i hated almost all my experiences over the 9 weeks.

however... i enjoyed my experience, overall.

yes, i struggled. yes, i hurt. yes, i had negative experiences while there. BUT, overall, i really did enjoy many things about it and am actually quite happy i went. while the learning process was hard (not only the language), now that i'm on the other side of it, i am thankful for the process because i can see how much i actually DID learn.

and while going to Guatemala was for language school, for the most part, i walked away with my pockets much more full of other things, as well as language. and for that i am happy.

so... no, dear ones, to clarify, i did not hate those 9 weeks, even if it sounded like it through my in-the-moment ramblings.

and yes, dear ones, i would do it again. :-)

processing...

how do you process?

i'm finally figuring out how i process. first, during shock, i just let it settle internally. i think about the thing while going on with daily life. after a few hours of that, i have a need to talk about it. so i call a good friend and/or my mom and get it off my chest. then i do the internal thing while eating every junk food item in sight. sometimes during this second internal part, and sometimes after it, i pray. (i hope one day to do the praying part first, but i haven't quite reached that maturity level yet.)

this second part of internally processing includes depression, hence the food. this could last for days. i mope. i cry. i pray. i write. i eat. i mope some more. finally more verbalizing with more people with intentions of gaining new perspectives.

now, depending on the thing i'm having to process, this is where the anger comes in. the shock has worn off, the depression is nearly gone, and now i'm fully angry, ready to yell and speak my mind w/ no abandon. this could last until enough time has passed or until i talk to the person i'm most angry with. but by this point i've gained enough perspective to own my part, be appreciative of the situation, even looking ahead to what the future holds. but my anger continues.

i wanted to share where i am with processing my layoff, my father's health, and being back in the States.

i am still in the anger stage of my layoff issue ... i have processed externally with so many people, but not the exact people i need to talk to in order to let it all go. but i hope to, very soon. once that's over, i should be able to let it all go and move on with freedom. i've written a goodbye email to the people i've worked with for 7 years and have received great feedback and encouragement from many. i've so very much appreciated all that, as well as being welcomed back with open arms and smiles from all my coworkers. it's made coming back after bad news much easier to deal with.

my dad's health is not good. i've accepted it and am now processing the fact that this could be the end for him. i have no idea, but at least i'm ready for whatever God has planned. however, because of the situation, i'm also processing the idea of moving back to Texas to be near my family again. not only because of my dad, but because of my entire family in general, a guaranteed job opportunity, weather ... it's a huge decision, one i'm trying not to be hasty about making.

being back in my familiar life has been fairly easy. much more than i expected. i guess i wasn't gone long enough to really be impacted deeply by re-entering a world i know. i am very aware of how quiet everything is here. i miss speaking Spanish. i miss thinking about everything i have to say before saying it. i miss walking everywhere. i'm glad to be back, but i've already had thoughts of going back to do it again ... that makes me proud of myself. especially given the fact that during it i didn't think i would survive. :-)

so, anyways, these are the things i'm processing right now. i'm in a part of my life where change is fully expected, but not knowing what the change will be is the hard part. so i'm doing what i do ... weighing the pros and cons of everything ... i'm just trying to rely on the Lord for guidance.

first impressions (USA)

you need a car here in the big state of Texas and the little city of Brenham. even though there are less people here than in Antigua, the city is so spread out that if you don't have a car, it could be the end of the day by the time you got to the grocery store.

everything is clean. the buildings. the roads. the people. i really like clean.

the roads are straight and flat and for the most part without holes.

it's quiet here. very quiet. i have yet to hear firecrackers or a honking horn.

there are no buses.

there are no ants crawling on the wall behind my bed. there aren't dogs running the streets. there are no people walking along the highway carrying stuff atop their heads. there aren't any children on the corners selling stuff (well, drugs in some cases, but you know what i mean). it's very UNpopulated here.

i have to make my own food, but i have choices (it's a trade-off). i have entertainment whenever i choose. i have privacy. i can communicate. i understand all the words on all the signs, TV, and whatever the people say in every place i've been thus far.

Americans are much more rude than Guatemalans. when i was in North Carolina waiting for my plane i bought a candy bar. the lady who took my money never said hello, never said thank you, never made eye contact. in Guatemala they would have greeted me as soon as i walked inside the door, offered to help me find something, offered me 5 other things as well, and thanked me twice before i left. yes, they NEED the money whereas this was just a job for this woman, but still, a smile and thank you would have been much more appealing.

i've realized i miss speaking spanish. i don't miss not understanding, but i do miss talking with my teachers in spanish over ice cream or a game of cards. i also miss walking. i guess i have to go outside and just walk for 15 minutes with no place to go. my body is feeling very lazy and fat. i'm not even hungry.

i'm also sick. i spent 9 weeks in Guatemala and wasn't sick from anything. the day i return i feel sick. now, three days later, i have a full-out cold.

even though i'm not a morning person and much prefer silence, i did enjoy being greeted with smiles and happiness from Adolfo every morning at breakfast. "Buenos dias, Yenny, como estas?!"

everytime i need to walk by someone i want to say "Permiso." i can't get rid of that urge of politeness and sometimes say it anyway. i was so polite in Guatemala, with every person i was around, and here ... well ... i'm not. it feels weird.

with that said, "Feliz Cumpleanos, Grandma & Melissa!" :-)

adios, Antigua!

well, i have about 45 minutes before i leave Antigua to go to the airport and start my journey home. it's been quite a trip!

i've learned i don't like constant noise, but i do like to walk everywhere i need to go. i learned enough Spanish to communicate basically, but still need to learn a BUNCH of words to have in-depth conversations. i learned to dance to Spanish music. i met a bunch of people. i ate strange food. there is SO MUCH i've learned and seen ... i can't even express it all right now. i need to process more as i return to the States. but, overall, i am VERY thankful i came. yes, it was hard. yes, i cried a bunch of times. and yes, i am returning a week earlier than planned. BUT, i would do it again and enjoy it more the second time around. :-) (just not for as long)

thank you, Guatemala, for having me in your country. hasta luego!

the last day

for breakfast i had typical Guatemalan food. eggs, black beans, bread.

the morning class was rather easy. Hugo and i talked for 2 hours about Christmas traditions and other stuff. after the break we played Crazy 8s and Rummy. i lost.

my afternoon class was fun. Gabi invited me to walk to Campero for an ice cream cone. very sweet. :-) so we walked, bought ice cream, and sat in the park and talked until 3 p.m.

now i'm killing time until 6 when i'm supposed to meet Erwin. after seeing him for a couple of hours i will go to the Christmas party at the school, then home to sleep.

overall, it's been a pretty good day i guess. though saying goodbye tonight will be a little hard. and goodbye to the family tomorrow as well. even though i'm ready, i don't really want to leave the people here. i've enjoyed getting to know Gabi and Hugo and my family.