new chica

howdy to all...

at breakfast today, i got asked if liked "garlic bread," which incidentally had nothing to do with breakfast. or else Adolfo doesn't know what Americans consider garlic bread, which is more likely the case. anyways, i took the opportunity to say, "yes, but i don't like mustard." so now he knows. :-)

class went well today. Hugo is very encouraging. i so need that. and i learned stuff today, which is a plus. so overall, very good class day.

rushed home at lunch ... the rain was coming. it ended up starting during lunch and was a short one. right when i walked out to sit down at the table, Adolfo came in with a new student! :-) a girl from my school named Susan (or Suzanne) from Switzerland. seems nice enough. quiet. knows a lot more Spanish than me, but that seems to be everyone around here. i think, in all the school, i'm the one that knows the least. seriously. it's sad, but you gotta start somewhere.

so we ate our chicken with green chili sauce and brown rice and tortillas and got to know one another in spanish and broken english. then Adolfo came and sat down and talked it up with her while i was left in the dust of words. ugh. then she hurried off back to school for afternoon classes.

i wrote out postcards to mail today. made my bed with clean sheets (i didn't have to wash them), and walked to school to see if Alexia wanted to walk with me to the post office. she's said a couple of times she needed to go too. i walked past my new fellow housemate studying with my teacher Hugo. :-)

anyways, the picture link works now, for real. so go below to the previous post and click on it to see all 110 pictures of that album. lots of doors to see. :-)

pictures, for real

ok. click here. after the Pacaya pictures are the newest ones. it starts with "door 15" and goes through to the end.

NOTE: the "park near house 2" picture looks like there's a lake there, but there really is no lake there. it's a house. when i took the picture, something must have happened during the snapping of it that blurred it a little or something. but it really and truly is a house, not a lake. :-)

NOTE 2: if you haven't already figured it out, you can double click on the thumbnails to make the pictures bigger. then in the upper righthand corner are arrows to advance to the next and previous pics.

NOTE 3: don't click the refresh button, i think all the pics disappear. ugh.

again with the canons!

turns out they are not canons. they sound like canons. but they are, instead, firecrackers. really loud firecrackers kids set off in the streets for celebrations of stuff like people dying, birthdays, anniversaries, etc.

so, no more worries. there really isn't war happening. :-)

tengo un neuvo maestro

his name is Hugo. that's pronounced "u-hu" or something like that. he's very nice, very encouraging, and has yet to speak one word of English. i'm not sure if that's good or bad... *L* it's good, because i really have to think hard to follow, understand, and converse. but it's a little bad because explanations are hard to understand.

we first did our "get to know eachother" conversation, all in Spanish. he's 30, lived his whole life in Antigua, has 5 brothers and 2 sisters, and is Catholic (as is everyone it seems). then we went over the verbs Ser, Estar, Saber, and Conocer. those were the ones i'd learned already with Lesbia. but then he started teaching me Tener and Haber. oh my goodness! i feel a bit overwhelmed and don't really understand some of it, but will ask Adolfo & Anna about it this afternoon and hopefully get some clarity. It makes sense, but i need more sense. :-)

anyways, i think Hugo will be good for me. he's very encouraging. after i say something right he says, "Perfecto!" makes me feel like i'm doing SOMEthing right. very nice.

i must walk home for lunch now. today's breakfast was two fried eggs with slices of ham on top. they were a bit salty, but still better than vegetables. :-)

P.S. my ankle is much better. nearly back to normal.

new pics

click here for lots of new pics. i think they should show up as the first ones. there's a lot. and a lot of doors.

i have a new teacher today. so far so good. :-) his name is Hugo and is very encouraging. i'll post more later.

second sunday ... yes, it's long

I’ve slept in (7 something), listened to the noises of Anna putting dishes away, sweeping, and eating. It’s very quiet outside on Sundays. At least in the morning. I’m happy for that. And now I need to start my day. It’s nearly 10 and I need to eat something. Yesterday I passed by an Italian place with a menu in English and Spanish. I think I will eat there today for dinner. But first, I need to investigate a new street


The thing you need to ask yourself before coming here is, “Do I want to walk?” If the answer is yes, no problem, come on down! But if the answer is no, and you don’t want to spend money on taxis or money and energy trying to figure out the bus system, or money and potential emotional breakdowns renting and driving a car, then you needn’t come here. I have walked and walked and walked a good 60 blocks today alone. 60 blocks, in my mathematical configurations, equals to at least 3 miles. That might not seem like a lot to the regular 10 or 20Ker, or the marathon runners of our world, but to the average Jane like me, it’s a LOT.

I walked down to La Merced, picking up a donut along the way in a store on the corner. It wasn’t the best donut, but it was one nonetheless and cost a little over Q3. I took pictures of doors along the way, then of La Merced, and then more doors as I made my way down a new street … 7 avenida norte/sur. It’s just a street, not much on it. I was looking for the English-speaking church Adolfo told me about. But I didn’t find it.

I went to McDonald’s, because it was right there, and I needed to think. So I went outside to sit near the fountain. I had to survey my map and plan my next route. It wasn’t even noon yet. I want to find a particular hotel that my mom and/or friend might stay at next month, but it’s in a part of town I’ve never been yet. So I get it figured out and leave.

I walk two more blocks south to 7 calle poniente. I need 9 calle poniente. There’s two ways to get to it and I don’t know where on the street the hotel will be, so I decide to walk west, then south, and then walk east on 9 calle until I find it. but when I got to 7 calle and 8 avenida, the road splits into a semi-highway and it doesn’t look like it would be safe to walk on … there was no sidewalk. So, I walk back to where I started and decide to walk the two blocks south to 9 calle, then walk east. Well, walking east was nice, but I didn’t find anything called Villa Antigua. I did find some other very nice hotel, but not that one. But since I hadn’t walked the other direction yet, I didn’t bother to ask anyone if they knew of it. I’m just stubborn that way.

So, I walk back the several blocks I just walked and start looking intently again. I walked all the way to 2 avenida sur and found no Villa Antigua. By this time my feet and legs were very tired and I didn’t have it in me to ask anyone or go back to see if the one hotel I saw maybe was it but had changed their name. So I saw Iglesia de San Francisco from another side and made my way north to Papazitos for lunch.

A little place, but booming with business. I sat down at a table, grabbed a little magazine, and waited. I ordered a soda and the meatball panini and pretended to read the little magazine while waiting for my food to arrive. The soda was in a can and cost Q12. Hello? You might want to read that again. A regular can of Pepsi cost Q12. that would be about $1.60. at the café across from school, I can buy a 20 oz. bottle of soda for Q5. in the States you can buy a can out of a vending machine for .50. and in a restaurant in the States you’d pay $1.50 or $2 for soda, but you get refills. So, maybe that puts it into perspective for you. Any restaurant you order a soda in, you pay at least Q10. that’s just the way it is. Sad though.

The panini came with some lettuce, sliced tomatoes, and sliced onions as a salad. I had a little bit of the lettuce. I guess I just figured it was safe. It had a little bit of dressing on it, which I didn’t like, so I didn’t eat but a couple of bites. The whole mean, with tip, cost Q55. overall, it was ok. The bread was a little crispy for my liking, but that’s what a panini is all about. Toasting the bread. But the bread was already crunchy on the outside, so now some of it tasted like crutons. But the meatballs, cheese, and sauce were really good. I would eat it again if I had to, definitely.

Ok, now what? It’s not even 3 p.m. I decide to walk to parque central and people watch. And along the way I look for the pupusa place I’d passed one day. I didn’t find it. instead I found a bunch of other stores and I browsed a bit, asking how much stuff was, trying to get an idea how much I should be paying for stuff. I bought a stack of postcards of Antigua for Q75. there are 27 of them, so I figured I paid $10. in the States, you can sometimes get 3 for a dollar, but other times you pay $1.50. so I guess it was fair. (later I went to the big market I’d forgotten about on the arch street and found the same thing for Q63 or Q68. oh well.)

In the park I was asked by many people to buy necklaces. I watched a kid with his new puppy. I took a few pictures. And saw another boy shining shoes, though this kid was only about 5. :-(

I wanted some dessert and wanted to try a new restaurant … oh, look, there’s Café Condessa. It’s supposed to be really good, so I head there. When you walk in, you walk into a book store. So I browse looking for a Guatemala guide book, map, and/or the exercise book Adolfo wrote down for me. I’ve been doing this periodically throughout the day, but hadn’t bought anything yet. They took Visa, so I bought a map and a workbook of Spanish verbs. After the bookstore is a little string of shops. And then the café. When you walk in, a girl hands you a menu. There’s an inside section of tables, then a patio, and then two other inside sections. In the patio there’s a fountain and there happened to be a table with one chair at it available, so I promptly sat down. A lady came by with a napkin, fork, and spoon. I ordered hot chocolate and asked for a minute to decide on food. She returned with my beverage and I ordered apple pie.

The hot chocolate was way too strong for my liking. There was a flavor about it that my tongue didn’t particularly like, so I only had about 5 sips. The pie was good, but could have been better. It was about 2 inches thick and would have been great heated up with ice cream on top. :-) I ate it all though. They served it with a dollop of cream on the side.

Then I opened my verb book and began to learn. It made sense, so I did a few exercises. I started getting chilly, so decided to leave.

While walking home, I went in a couple of markets to browse. I’m kind of window shopping for Christmas gifts and things for myself. The one market is a “rent your own space and sell your stuff” kind of place. So every space I passed by I had someone trying to get my attention and sell me stuff. I looked and inquired, but didn’t buy anything. By this time I only had about Q6 left, so I told people I’d be back later. The other market is like a Guatemalan Wal-Mart or something. Everything is cheaper there. Everything looks like the stuff you buy on the street. But it’s in this store where no one bothers you.

I finally decide I’ve had enough, I need to get home, it’s dark and chilly and time to end my day. It’s only about 6:15 p.m. I hear music and see a crowd gathered at this one intersection. All of a sudden, there’s something moving in the air in front of all these people. Looks like a float or something. I take a picture. I get closer and realize men are underneath it, holding it up. They’re wearing suits. There’s music in front of them and firecrackers going off behind them. As they move, other people follow or walk alongside. On the back of this float thing read “rest in peace” in Spanish (I think). I’m thinking it was a funeral, but I don’t know for sure.

I pass through the crowd, moving quickly toward home. Finally I reach the park around the corner from the school and find tons of firecrackers going off and people sitting in the park like they’re waiting for something. Here comes the float thing! what the heck? And up the street is a man with a waterhose, hosing a section of the street in front of his store. A little ways up are two women laying down grass in the middle of the street. And at the top of this street sits people, waiting, and another person watering the middle of the street. Tons of firecrackers are going off, non stop, and some of them go into the sky and make very loud boom noises, kind of like a canon going off. Hm. I’m thinking the canons of last week were never canons at all. They were firecrackers for some kind of celebration. Very interesting.

At breakfast in the morning, I will be inquiring of Adolfo about this funeral/celebration thing. I want to know the scoop. I want to know whether I should be finding a spot to sit and wait for these things to pass me by. And how did all these people know about it??? these are things I just need answers to. Moreso than, “why are there 38 different words for the same verb?”

Week’s total costs: good question. Pacaya trip = $15 (Q115). food for pacaya trip = Q14. Sunday (food, book, postcards, map) = Q398. Paseo de Santo Domingo = Q30-ish. TOTAL = Q562 = $75.

Spending so far = $55 first week, $75 second week = $130.

second saturday - another novel...

The day started out with leftover French toast and pancakes. I walked to school and used the internet for several hours and contemplate my day. Went home for lunch … churrizos and the carrot, pea, and potato mixture that’s hot, but sweet, tortillas, and lemonade. I’ve decided I’m not a big fan of the churrizo. It tasted good and all, but there was a lot of unedible things inside that I had to spit out. I don’t think all churrizo is small like these were, but they were cute in size. Probably 1.5 inches long and about an inch round. Two were black and two were more brown and normal looking.

The family was coming over and happened to show up right when I was finishing, so I hurried into my room to give them privacy. I decided to walk, slowly, down one street, from my neighborhood to the opposite end, looking at everything, taking pictures, totally familiarizing myself with it. This street would be 1 avenida norte/sur.

And so I headed out with my camera, water, and rain jacket. But when I got outside the house, I was reminded that I hadn’t been up our street, past our house, yet. And so I walked in a new direction. The street curves to the left a little ways up and goes up a hill, all with houses and cars lined on either side. And at the top of the hill is a little playground with a fountain. There are lots of fountains in this city, but not a lot that have water running in them. This one was no exception. But there was a little slide and a swing set for kids to play on. And for me, it was a pleasant surprise. Nestled in amongst tons of houses, it wouldn’t be the most peaceful place to hang out, but I was glad to see some kind of nature nearby.

I also decided to walk up another street in my neighborhood a little ways to see what was beyond where I always turn. Found a couple more tiny stores to buy junk food from, more houses, more dogs eating plastic, a cat (the one and only thus far), and some more ruins hidden behind lots of trees. The road curves to the right to take you to more houses, but I thought it best not to venture too far away from “civilization”.

I’m still trying to figure out what this one place is supposed to be. It’s so large, fenced off, concrete in the middle, a beautiful entry way, guards, and men working in holes and jackhammering in the concrete, all day, every day. Yet there is no sign to say what it is. I can’t ask anyone because I won’t understand what they tell me, so I just keep eyeing it, hoping God will just tell me one day.

And thus, my venture of street one begins. Overall, I took about 50 pictures of this one street. Most of them were of doors, but still. I looked more intently inside doors. And at the end of this street is Iglesia de San Francisco. Inside this church is the tomb of Hermano Pedro. I don’t know who he is, but apparently he is pretty important.

But this church, not only is it the site of Pedro, but it’s also an actual church with services and mass and confessions. All things Catholic. And you can go in to just look around. And so I did. And sat down to listen. Watch. Consume. It’s a very large church. And very beautiful. The pews had the kneeling bars. There were candles you could light for your loved ones. There was lots of gold. And lots of paintings of Jesus, Mary, etc. Lots of statues. The front of the church was rather intimidating with such a large chair for the priest and other chairs for elders or someone. Off to the right was another section for prayer. In front of the little fence was a book that said, “Antes Jesus’Sanctification.” I don’t really know what that means as far as Catholicism goes, but it seemed important. And to the left was Pedro’s tomb. You can see it from inside the church, or you can go around the side of the church to actually go inside the room. Viewing it from inside the church on the other side of the wall was just fine for me.

Many people came in to just pray. They would enter the back of the church, kneel and do the hand movement across their chest, then go sit down in a pew. This act was done really fast, almost as if they didn’t want anyone to notice but knew it was necessary. I’m sure it’s just because they’ve been doing it at least once a week for their entire lives and have it down pat, but still. Their prayers weren’t very long. They’d sit in the pew, kneel down onto the bar, pray for a couple of minutes, and then get up. Some of them would leave. Some would go over to the candles and light one. And others would go to the other praying section and do the same thing. and then some would go over and see Pedro before they left.

All of this ritual was interesting to me. I guess because I know nothing about Catholicism and don’t participate in anything similar.

I was quiet, didn’t take pictures, tried to be respectful of the praying people, and took my time looking at everything. But others would come in and talk amongst themselves. Monks were cleaning columns. Other men were going in and out of doors. I don’t know, but if I were there trying to pray, I would be highly distracted by all this, and maybe even irritated at tourists for coming to my church to gawk.

There was another section you can enter or leave the church, another wing, sort of. This area had very little traffic, so I stood near the door and took a couple of pictures, just so show you a little taste of the grandeur of this building.

Outside are vendors selling anything from keychains to purses to food. Lots of activity in this place. I found a place to sit down and watch. This little boy with his shoe shine box goes over to a lady that works there selling stuff and talks to her for a minute. Then she hands him her shoes and he promptly goes to work. This kid couldn’t have been more than 8 years old. But already, he knew what it mean to work hard. A minute later an older boy came over to him, sat down on his shoe shine box, and the smaller boy began to talk. Don’t know if they were brothers, but I imagine so. The younger boy talked the entire time he shined those shoes. And the other old one never said a word, he just put his hand in each shoe on top of the box so the boy could shine them easier and faster. This kid had such a sweet smile and from time to time would look over at me to see if I was still watching him. And every time he would smile really big.

and then, out of the church comes the whitest, most American family. For a while I was thinking I was the whitest person on this block, but no, actually, there are at least 4 more whiter and more American and more touristy than me. They had on their shorts, tennis shoes, rain jackets, and sunscreen. They carried their cameras with pride. They were here to visit and so they did.

When the kid had finished shining the ladies shoes, he gave them back to her with pride. They discussed the price and finally agreed on what looked to be about Q3. This kid was thrilled. Almost like that was the biggest sale of the day. His “brother” tried to drum up some business from passersby, but had no success. The boys walked out of sight. After a few more minutes, I decided it was time for me to leave. As I was walking out, I passed the little one sitting on the sidewalk counting his money. He had two little fistfuls of coins. It probably only amounted to 8 or 10 Quetzales, at the most. But I imagine that will help his family out quite a bit. And besides, the day wasn’t over yet.

And so my journey on the opposite side of the street began. I made a couple of side trips up one or two other streets, just because I saw some interesting things or doors from afar and wanted a closer look. I also went inside the Dominos to investigate the menu more thoroughly. Turns out a medium cheese pizza costs Q75, Hawaiian costs Q95. So the sign in their doorway that advertises a pizza for Q110 is for a super large. Much more normal and accepting.

I made my way up to the park around the corner from my school and sat down. The clouds were amazing and moved very fast. I tried to get a video of it, but you couldn’t see it through the camera. It was strange. But there, again, was a colorful cloud, one with greens and pinks and blues mixed into a little hole of white. Just like the one we’d seen on our way to Pacaya the other day. It was getting darker, so I continued walking home. But when I got to the section of that road where I turn right, I looked back and noticed the sky was orange. I just love sunsets. I watched long enough that the colors disappeared and then went home.

I uploaded all my pictures to my computer, resized them, and got them ready to post online. Then it was time for dinner. Leftover pieces of pork with the white/brown bean gravy and leftover pasta with little pieces of ham and chopped celery and onions (but not as many as the other day). And little slices of white bread. Probably ¾ of the size of a normal slice. Very cute. I ate with Adolfo and we talked.

volcan video

there's no sound since my camera is just a regular still camera with this little video feature. but as the lava falls off the edge, imagine the sound of glass breaking. :-)

P.S.

it was kindly pointed out that i didn't say what happened to marlene at the volcano, after she went back down and i left her. well, we were all at the top looking at the lava and all of a sudden i hear her voice. so i go towards this person who said my name and it's Marlene! she went back down to the bottom, got on a horse taxi, and rode up to the top! along the way we had passed several horses with men trying to "sell" the ride up, but we all passed them up (i kept thinking i should get on one and forget killing myself just for pride, but didn't). it never occurred to me that Marlene would ride a horse up. but was so glad she did for her benefit. she got to see the lava in person and i took her picture for her. :-) we walked down together, holding up the rear of the line.

i also meant to say that in America we would have had to sign waivers saying the tour group/guide is not responsible if we should die on this adventure. no way would any guide in the States traverse you over lava rocks that could seriously injure or kill you, in the dark, with only a little flashlight (but only if you brought one yourself), while it's raining. and these people, the Guatemalans, didn't seem to be concerned at all! absolutely amazing.

P.S. Marlene's name is really Merlene. oops. :-)

volcan pics

Volcan de Pacaya pictures

all that work to get up there and most of my pictures didn't even turn out. just as i had anticipated, but still disappointing. my camera has a nice little feature to take video as well, so i managed to capture lava falling in motion. but, i don't know how to post the video, nor upload the video, to this site.

i have to go to lunch now (slowly, but surely), but maybe this afternoon or sometime on the weekend i can take time to figure it out. if any of you know, please email me.

Volcan, part 2

so, there it was, lava. red. orange. beautiful. it moved slowly down the hill, but then collapsed over the side. when it broke, it sounded like glass breaking. it never occurred to me that there would be noise. but it was amazing. and up at the top of either the same volcano or another one, you could see lava spewing up in the canal or cone or whatever you call it.

what was bad was that about the time we reached a place to start taking pictures, it started raining. it always rains, so this was expected. we walked a little farther, to get closer, and the rain lessoned. and then we climbed over lava rocks to get a little closer, which, in my opinion, was totally unnecessary and very dangerous. i have battle wounds to prove it. my hand has at least 6 cuts on it from bracing myself as i traversed the rocks. nothing to hold on to, so better my hand to be cut than my entire body from falling over. seriously, you could REALLY hurt yourself.

and then it was time to go down. slippery. difficult. slow. i stepped wrong and twisted my ankle. fell down on the side of my leg in the dirt. only hurt my ankle though.

finally, the bottom. finally, a chance to sit down. needless to say, i earned a soda and snickers bar. :-)

the drive home was fast, the regular amount of time, 1.5 hours. i got into bed at midnight exactly. a very long evening.

all night, it was hard to get comfortable because of my ankle. you don't realize how much your ankles bend until you can't bend one of them. ouch! this morning i woke up not as tired as i'd expected. i also am not sore at all. i am really surprised. the only thing that hurts is my ankle. but i can walk on it, so it'll be better very soon.

this morning i ate french toast for breakfast. yum! i gathered my laundry and began my walk. i walked about a block and a half and there was a tuk-tuk (taxi), so i took it to the laundromat and to school. for the first time i didn't walk all the way to school. it felt weird. and very bumpy. tuk-tuks are not the most comfortable or shock-absorbant vehicles. they're basically a motorcycle with a box on the back of it for two passengers. it's weird, but it gets you there. cost me Q10.

class thus far today has been ok. i basically said, "no, i'm only doing two sentences" and "no, i didn't do my homework and i don't care." i stuck to my guns and therefore didn't feel stupid, small, and frustrated.

after class is over (because my break is now over), i will post the pictures from last night. not much to see. it's seriously just black with red blobs. but i'll post them anyway. :-)

Volcan de Pacaya

well, it proved itself more difficult than anticipated. everyone said it was easy. they lied. they don't know what easy is.

first the time changes from 5 to 3:30. we pack in a van like sardines, 13 or 14 of us. we drive for a little while, and then we hit a traffic jam. it takes an hour to move one mile. not kidding. it was a mess. we finally get out of that and turn onto a road that, in America, would have been closed because of it's condition. we blaze it like it was an interstate. there were horses in the road. there were dogs in the road. then, out of nowhere, there's a village. people, children, houses, stores selling Pepsi and Snickers. finally, we arrive to our destination, the part where the walking starts.

the people we were with were mostly early 20s. even in MY 20s i would have struggled. these people acted like marathon runners, all 12 of them. the first part where i struggled was ... um ... straight up. no kidding. straight up. after about 10 steps i knew i was in trouble. my lungs started freaking out. for normal lungs, sure, out of breath, but for MY asthmatic lungs, forget about it. how the heck am i gonna get up this mountain? i still have 2.99 kilometers to go!

when we reached the top of this semi-paved area that was straight up, we stopped for a minute. well, i did. to catch my breath, contemplate the situation, and wait for Marlene and our driver. it was at this point Marlene decided to go back. i asked several times, but finally decided to leave w/o her. i felt bad, but i wanted to try. we hadn't walked far, so for her to go down on her own was safe. i carried the rear of our group, for sure, but i made it. our group was led by a Guatemalan guide ... old man ... very fit. they stopped periodically to rest. i caught up just in time to watch them leave. finally, we were there.

oh, by the way, our entire walk was in the dark. it shouldn't have been, but because of the traffic jam, we had no choice.

so there it was ... lava.

more at breaktime...

today & pics

click here for new pictures from my tour of Paseo de Santo Domingo yesterday.

today has been ... overwhelming, again. class involved frustration, crying, and a little bit of laughing, in that order. the director came around and inquired of classes and homestay situations and i requested to change teachers. i have mixed feelings about it, but don't really know what do otherwise.

lunch was pasta, alfredo (kind of), with onions, celery, and some kind of finely chopped green lettuce like stuff. i ate with Anna only. we sorta talked.

i'm now posting blogs and pictures and waiting for 3:15 to come. at that time, marlene and i will walk down to the school where the tour of Volcan de Pacaya will begin. hopefully it will be fun. if nothing else, i'll see live lava, if i don't collapse from the hike up the volcano before hand.

i bought a little loaf of bread (almost the perfect size for living in the States, which doesn't exist in the States, of course), a snack bag of Cheetos (puffs), and a package of about 10 oreo cookies for Q14, in preparation for eating on the bus since i won't get dinner otherwise. Q14 is only about $2 ... that's amazing.

ugh!!!

Oh my gosh, I’m so ready for the weekend. I’m not having fun at all. This is so much harder than I thought it would be. And today is a very hard day. I’ve started crying several times, of course inopportunely. Is that even a word? Ugh!

I woke up this morning very tired. Breakfast sucked. I had to learn a new verb in class which confused the heck out of me. Even though I was prepared from previous studying that verbs were hard, attempting to use it today in class proved very difficult. Doing exercises right there with my teacher waiting on me gets me very nervous and freezes up my brain even more than it already is. Then she wants me to do this very difficult exercise where I complete sentences, but they are long sentences and use words I don’t know! I was so confused. And of course got some of them wrong. We discussed them and I understand why it is the way it is, but … ugh!

Lunch semi-sucked. By this time I’m ready to cry at any moment. I’m basically on the edge. I’m never gonna learn this stuff. I’m never gonna be able to understand people. I’m never gonna be able to communicate. What the heck am I doing here? These were the thoughts going through my head. I prayed on the way home. But I was still very much emotional and tired and frustrated.

Lunch wasn’t ready yet, so I went to the table and sat down with my homework to try to make sense of it. Adoflo asked me how I was and instead of giving the canned “Bien, gracias, y tu?” answer that everyone gives, I was honest. “I’m frustrated.” So he attempts to encourage me. Anna comes in and does the same thing. by this time, tears are coming and I can barely stop them. Thankfully, Anna read the prayer and didn’t ask me to do it. we ate homemade Chinese … fried rice, bits of meat, onions, peppers, and celery. I picked and tried not to cry and tried to talk. I did the best I could, but was so upset.

Adolfo was kind enough to write down the name of a book I might find helpful for studying. I guess when I pass by bookstores I’ll inquire of it. maybe $15 or $20 might be worth it. He and Anna both were also kind enough to offer their help. They could tell I was upset and could see the tears in my eyes even though I didn’t let them fall. And Adolfo was very sweet, at the end of lunch when were getting up from the table … he said, “Jesus loves you, that’s what’s important.” I could only whisper, “Yes, He does.” Then as I passed him in the kitchen he put his hand on my shoulder and said if I needed help this afternoon to please ask.

I went to my room and cried. I only had 10 minutes before I needed to leave, so I could cry a lot, but I tried.

I walked back to school for the activity at 2 p.m. Five students and four teachers walked down to the museum at the Santo Domingo hotel. One of the teachers was our tour guide. Things were going ok for a while. I was actually understanding some of what he was saying about the stuff we were looking at. Only a little. But then we get to this one place and I didn’t catch any of it. he could tell I didn’t understand and came over to me after everyone had dispersed and said a few key words to me in English. I said thank you, turned away, and the tears started coming. I felt so stupid. He was being nice and helpful, but I felt so stupid. Why is this so hard?! I hid my tears from everyone, got myself gathered together, and moved on with the group.

We were at this museum for almost two hours. It shows art, old stuff from kitchens and pharmacies, skeletons, and a lot of Catholic stuff … statues, paintings, etc. It was interesting, the art was cool, and the setting was beautiful. Overall, it was worth the $5.50 I spent.

On my walk home, for the first time, a local talked to me as we walked in the same direction. What? I’m not invisible? Wow! He asked me questions and I understood a good bit of it and was able to respond in Spanish. Mostly the canned questions like, “Where are you from? Are you here to study? How long are you here for?” he was a bit older and had a lisp, so I had trouble sometimes getting words, but at least we talked! I didn’t really know what to say, but I tried to answer the best I could and he understood.

It is 6:15 p.m. and I’m waiting on dinner. I need to do my homework and study, but am afraid of getting frustrated because of not understanding.

This has been a hard day and I don’t expect there to not be anymore. I appreciate your prayers. Not only am I frustrated with the language learning and barriers, I am very much sensitive to everything around me right now … the constant noise, so much walking, and the guys who whistle and make kissy noises at me when I walk by every single day, at least once a day, are all getting to me.

Dinner was leftover Chinese food. They were sweet and picked out the peppers. I wish they had picked out the onions and celery as well. Also on the plate was a lovely portion of potato salad made with my favorite … mustard! Potatoes, carrots, and green beans mixed with mustard and maybe a tiny bit of mayo. Maybe. *sigh* I ate most of it, but some of the bites were really hard to get down. Thank God for bread and lemonade!

Adolfo joined me and we talked. Sort of. He does most of the talking, I say “si” and “wow” a lot. :-) at the end he encouraged me with words from God. God knew what He was doing. I’ll be ok.

mustard, ugh!

Adolfo made those sandwiches again for breakfast. mustard, mayo, turkey ham, and cheese. thankfully the other stuff drowns out most of the mustard, but i can still taste it. i don't have the heart to tell him i don't like it.

i've learned "estar" today. it's another "to be" verb, but temporary. (Jeff, thanks!) talk about a confusing language. my teacher keeps telling me not to think in English, but i don't know how NOT to think in English. it's all i know!!! if you have advice, please share. i'm lost.

today we go on a tour of the museum in the Santo Domingo hotel. i think i'll go.

it was cold this morning, so i put on long sleeves. but now it's hot. i never know what the weather is going to be from day to day, hour to hour. it's always changing on me. i've been dressing in short sleeves and carrying a jacket, but today i wanted to be minimal and thought i'd be ok. but alas, i am hot. *sigh* oh well.