13.1 miles

i need one of those stickers for my car. you may have seen them. 26.2, 13.1, 50k, etc. why? because i just ran a half-marathon! i didn't run the whole thing, but i DID run at least 10 miles of it. in fact, i ran the first 7 miles w/o walking at all (except to drink a little bit of water or gatorade at 2 or 3 drink stations)! that's HUGE for me. i may run slow, but i get it done! :-)  at the expo the day before where we picked up our swag bag, shirt, and other things, there were tons of vendors selling stuff. and there were stickers. one of them had a cute turtle on it that said, "I AM running!"  i really shoulda bought that and ironed it onto the back of my shirt.

these races ARE kinda fun. i mean, there's a connection you make with 25,000 strangers in your midst. you're all crazy together, so you already have something in common! and there's tons of people all along the route cheering you on with crazy signs or costumes. it's just fun to participate in something so big and so hard, together, even though they are all strangers and the people cheering are actually waiting for their loved one, not you. :-)

so why did i run in Phoenix? well, because of my step sisters. Gaylene (pictured in the middle) got a brilliant bug up her butt that she wanted to do a half in order to push her into exercising. she found this one and decided it would be fun for us to meet there and do it together. She and her sister, Kim (at right), met me there on Friday and we partied until 9pm at which point we realized we were too old to be partying! LOL  Saturday we were lazy and then Sunday Gaylene and I got up in the dark and made our way to the start line of the half in downtown Tempe.

we started off together, but Gaylene took off soon after we crossed the start. she's much faster than me, by 3 minutes per mile in fact. that was fine by me - i'd rather her go on and run her race - she had her own goal to accomplish! and she did, in fact, surpass her goal with a time of 2:17. really proud of her! :-)

i realized around mile 10 that i'd been following this one girl for a long time. she had on a green t-shirt that said "me vs road" and i finally clued in that i'd been using her as a gauge for my pace. turns out she and i were running the same speed, and walking the same speed. so around mile 11 i started running again and passed her up saying, "you are doing awesome! keep it up!!!"  not far down the road i had to walk again and here she came saying, "come on, you can do it!" and from there on we encouraged each other. i learned her name is Amy and her goal was to finish in the same time as me - 2:59:59 or under. this was her third race, i think.

we both crossed the finish line together, running as fast as our exhausted legs could carry us. i looked her up later on the finishers site and found her official finish time being 11 minutes ahead of me. guess she started a little earlier than me? i don't know. i just know i needed her. and i think she needed me. and it was nice to have a buddy to help me in that last mile. the last couple of miles really are the very hardest!


after the race is a concert. this was, after all, the Rock and Roll Marathon! i was kinda looking forward to seeing the B-52's, but we, however, have NO CLUE how that went because we were completely done and ready to get back to the hotel to ice our knees and shower. we had salt, crystallized salt, on our faces - it was the strangest thing. and my knee was absolutely killing me, i was limping all night and all the next day.

we cleaned up and went for a celebratory dinner at Mellow Mushroom. i had my very own 12 inch gluten-free vegan pizza and it was SO YUMMY i ate the entire thing!!! and then we got ice cream. the ice cream was regular, and sent me over the "i'm so full" stage into the "i'm going to be sick i'm so full" stage. the ice cream was good, but it wasn't so good i wanted more the next day. i think i'm happy with the plan of having ice cream, or something, once a year for my birthday. as long as i work super hard to earn it.

i think running 13 miles is work enough this time. :-)

now, back to reality, back to life, back to the strictly clean diet and the gym. it's time to see if i can improve my speed!

food allergy results

i searched years and years for a cause of my exercise-induced asthma, but never found a connection. just in the last several months i've finally considered wheat to be a possibility, and then sugar. of course those were behind dairy which had already been removed from my diet. i didn't have any hard evidence or proof that wheat could be a cause, just a hunch. then i went to TrueNorth, fasted, and ended up being 6 weeks free from wheat (they don't allow any wheat there - too many people have issues!). while i was there i had a food allergy test done and after my return home i received a letter from the doctor saying i should remove certain things from my diet and that the full report would be sent in the mail soon.

the list from the doctor had two categories - high and medium. In the high list was pumpkin and tarragon. In the medium list were apples, blueberries, watermelon, kiwi, ginger, and a couple of other things. when i first read this email i was perplexed. first of all, there is no explanation as to what happens to me if i eat these things, so i don't know if the food allergy is related to my asthma, acne, mood swings, bloating, constipation, fatigue, ANYthing! i have no idea, so i'm racking my brain trying to think of what kind of reaction i've gotten after eating pumpkin - all i know is that i've never had a MAJOR, life threatening reaction to ANY of the foods on the list, so i'm thankful for that.

but more perplexing is ... what do apples and pumpkin and ginger and watermelon have in common??? why tarragon, but not other spices? why blueberries but not blackberries? what is it about these foods that my body isn't liking? so i did what any questioning mind does - i turned to Google! i literally Googled, "what do apples, pumpkin, tarragon, and ginger have in common?" and the results came back - salicylates. and of course there were bigger food lists, most of the items on my list being on those lists too. very interesting! but what is a salicylate? it's a chemical that's naturally found in fruits & veggies, in some health and beauty products, and even in aspirin. interesting!

so i purposely didn't buy any apples, and i gave away the blueberries i'd just bought, but i still ate the oatmeal french toast i'd just made with apple juice - the week after i used grape juice. i made sure not to eat any pumpkin or tarragon. i continued my non-wheat experiment, and of course kept out the dairy and meat.

then i went to Phoenix and ran the half marathon. my goal was to finish at 2:59:59 or under, and i did!!! 2:56:49 to be exact. i was thrilled i didn't fall out on the ground half way through, begging for a taxi. :-)  moreover, my asthma was never an issue. the biggest pain were my legs and knees, and especially afterward, but while i was running my asthma never flared up. i made sure to run at a slow pace, but when i realized i'd reached 7 miles and had only paused long enough to grab a few swigs of water at the drink stations, i was excited. in fact, there was even a moment where i thought, "i might just run this whole dang thing!" and then my legs stiffened up. LOL  but i wonder, what i not taken 5 weeks off to fast, how would my legs have held up? would i have been able to run 10 miles without walking?

i just got home yesterday and found the full allergy report waiting for me. i opened it up and found the other columns, low and no factor. there were a LOT of foods i eat all the time in the low column and everything else i eat was in the no factor area. but at the bottom left of the report was a gluten box - ah ha! here we go. i had to read it very carefully as the wording was confusing. it says, "you have no reaction to gluten and severe reaction to gliadin. you should avoid eating wheat, barley, rye, and oats."  hmmm... that's interesting. so what is gliadin? how is it different than gluten but still in the same category as wheat?

we've all heard of the "gluten-free" craze - it seems like everyone is gluten intolerant anymore. well, i read "The Wheat Belly" when i was at TrueNorth and i can totally see why everyone at this point in our culture would have an issue with wheat. that is if the facts in that book are truly facts. again i turned to my reliable source and Googled "what is Gliadin" and up came the results - Gliadin and Glutenin make up Gluten found in wheat. Gliadin is the soluble part, Glutenin is insoluble. Gliadin is also found in barley and rye - the jury is still out about oats. when someone has Celiac disease, it's actually Gliadin they are intolerant of. after reading several sources i ran across this blurb about Gliadin from "The Wheat Belly Blog" - "Gliadin, particularly the omega fraction, is also responsible for allergic responses, including Bakers’ asthma and the odd wheat-dependent, exercise-induced analyphylaxis (WDEIA).)"

did you see that? "exercise-induced." thankfully i've never gone into analphylactic shock during exercise, not the point of needing medical assistance anyway, but still ... there it is, pretty dang close to saying "Gliadin causes exercise-induced asthma!" so that's it, i'm done with wheat. i'm going to continue eating rice, rice pasta, rice crackers, and will find gluten-free oats and bread, and will read labels even more carefully from now on. you'd be surprised where wheat is found. ketchup? soy sauce?

this is a lot of information to take in. i mean, i've already made such extreme changes to my diet, i have to make sure apples and watermelon are nowhere near, too? and what about the bananas? they're in the low list, do i avoid them too? no! the point of the report is to help me be mindful of things that may or may not cause an issue, OF SOME TYPE, for me. and to test my body as necessary. if i want to know what kind of reaction i have to apples, i should abstain from all things apple for 6 months, then eat them mindfully and record reactions to exercise, skin, bloating, etc.

ultimately i don't find any of this info as overwhelming or disappointing. i don't feel like i have to deprive myself. it's actually more interesting than anything. now i can experiment and see what happens! i am in control and can determine if pumpkin REALLY IS an issue. and how exciting to maybe actually have an answer, after all these years!

Final Thoughts about TrueNorth

well, my journey home has begun, but am i centered? am i pointing North? have i found MY TrueNorth? that's what they strive for at TrueNorth Health Center - to help people find their North, their balanced way of living. so have i found it?

to be honest, i don't know! i feel good. i feel encouraged. i certainly feel pointed in the right direction. but have i grown enough to stay pointing North? i hope so! i'm definitely armed with info to help me continue. i've cleansed my body of all toxins and haven't put any back in for three weeks now. i've lost a little weight.

but do i feel better? yes, i do! but do i feel healed? well, no. do i believe i've cured my asthma, for good? no. i hope it's better, at least, but i have no way of knowing that until i gain my strength back and continue to avoid toxins.

nothing drastic happened during this journey. i wasn't converted to some vegan cult. i didn't experience any healing miracles. i didn't feel the spirit ascend on me as i was fasting. i didn't have some enlightened experience where i was shown signs and wonders, nor did i see ghosts or goblins. i thought i would be more spiritual, but i wasn't. i thought i would feel my physical healing, but i didn't. i thought i would have some major "experience" ... but i didn't.

every day felt normal. fasting became easier than eating. in fact, the fasting process was far easier than i imagined it would be. i felt hunger every day, but it was manageable. it would have been more so had i not surrounded myself with food at the food demos or by watching The Food Network (ha!). the doctors laugh at fasting patients because we look up recipes online and watch cooking shows on tv, but food, or the lack of, never leaves your brain when you're fasting. at least it didn't leave mine. my mind was constantly on food - not necessarily feeling deprived and craving and wanting and being tempted - more "what am i going to eat when i'm done with this, when i go home?" the desire to get armed with ammunition, with recipes and ideas, was more the drive to go to the cooking demos or to watch food contests on tv.

i was never tempted to sneak into the dining room and steal food while i was fasting. never. but i did dream about enchiladas and tamales and bananas. and when it was finally time to eat them, they didn't taste as fantastic as i'd imagined. good, yes. but the best food i've ever tasted? no.

i'm super thankful for the opportunity to do this. i really wanted to fast - to push my body and mind beyond anything it had known before. i am thankful to now know what my body does and how it responds to the lack of food for a prolonged period. i'm also thankful to know that my body does not NEED to eat three times a day, or more, in order to survive. i still want to eat when i'm hungry, naturally, but if for some reason i can not eat what's given to me, or there is no opportunity to get food, or i'm stuck in transit without it, i KNOW i will continue to live and that the hunger will eventually go away.

and knowing that, realizing i'm not going to wither away if i miss lunch, also encourages me to avoid the foods that i should not eat - for example, if i go to a dinner or a party and there is nothing i am able to eat - instead of compromising, like i've done in the past, and subjecting myself to the slippery slope that is toxic food, i can turn it down and go without until i leave that situation and am able to get something on my approved list.

i have to look at the food i put in my body as the fuel that keeps my engine running. just like i can't put diesel in my car and expect it to operate beyond a few miles, i can't put toxins in my body and expect it to thrive beyond a couple of days.

people say to me all the time, "we're all gonna die anyway, so...."  well, that is very true. we are ALL going to die at some point, that is unless Jesus returns and takes us up (or sends us down, whichever the case may be). BUT ... i'm not eating this way in order to live a long life or to try to cheat death. i could care less about living to be 105. the less time i live on this decrepit earth the better! my response to those who say that is, "i don't want to live to 105, but while God keeps me here on earth i want to enjoy the years He gives me. i would far prefer to live 60 happy, healthy, feeling great years than 100 unhappy, discontent, fat, depressed, tired, sick, and diseased years."

and so i conclude... after a year and five month long journey of research, trial and error, desire, and perseverance, i have found my true north. i have found my path to enjoying my life. and i'm happy it's taken as long as it's taken. you can't learn as much as i've learned in just a few days. you can't learn how to live the rest of your life from one book. or watching one video. yes, it can set you on the right path, but you have to find your own way. if you have desire to THRIVE instead of just SURVIVE, then you're already one step ahead of most. Congratulations!

i could not have gotten here without a little help. and i have a number of fantastic *resources to thank...  (i tried to put them in order of finding/watching/reading/attending/etc.)

Super Size Me
Fat Head
Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead
Food, Inc
King Corn
No Impact Man
Forks Over Knives
Mom
Engine 2 Diet / Engine 2 Extra
Farms 2 Forks
Dr. Caldwell and Ann Esselstyn
Rip Esselstyn
Ami Mackey
Natala Constantine
TrueNorth Health Center
Dr. Alan Goldhamer
Dr. Michael Klaper
Dr. Neal Barnard
Dr. John McDougall
Dr. Doug Lisle
The Starch Solution
The Pleasure Trap
Chef AJ

*not an exhaustive list

What Day is It?

now that i'm not counting fasting days i have no idea what day it is. i just know it's Thursday. life is almost normal again. for those of you worried about my weight loss, you'll be happy to know i've already gained back 4 pounds. oatmeal, fruit, potatoes, and green veggies have a way about 'em. :-)

notice i said oatmeal. i've never eaten oatmeal in my life. i hate it. it makes me gag - the lumpy, sticky, warm texture - YUK! but yet i've had it for breakfast two days in a row. now mind you, this isn't JUST oatmeal. it's been cooked in fruit juice, probably apple, and has fruit and cinnamon added to it, during the cooking process. and then it sat there for a while, waiting for me. yesterday there were raisins in it, today banana and almonds. i don't have a clue if i can do this at home, but i will probably give it a valiant effort.

it's quiet here now. not many people. all the food extravaganza people are gone and those of us left are either coming off a fast or have just begun to fast. i have the apartment to myself, which was really nice last night, but at the same time also kinda eerie. i kept expecting someone to walk in. but no one did until the doctors this morning to check in on me.

BP 100/64, HR 60, TEMP 98, WT 140.4

yesterday i scarfed down some soup and half my salad for lunch and jumped on the bus headed east a couple of miles. i got off at the exact right spot and walked around for a while waiting for the movie to start. i had about 30 minutes to meander. there's a really nice park with a pond and lots of mossy rocks and trees. i didn't have a lot of time to explore, but what i saw was very peaceful and there were quite a number of people enjoying it. i got back to the theater just in time - Silver Linings Playbook starring Bradley Cooper - good movie. cute theater. senior day. lots of independent films it seemed.

afterward i hurried over to the bus stop ready to wait for the # 4 when here comes the # 7. i remembered i could take the # 7 first, but would have to walk a few blocks, or i could wait longer for the # 4 and get dropped at the door of TN. so to make sure the # 4 stopped at that stop, i asked the driver and he kindly informs me "no, it only stops going the other way."  well that's odd. why would their trip planning website tell me to get on at that spot to get back home? oh well, whatever. he was very helpful and said i could use my transfer voucher (15 minutes late) and ride with him if i didn't mind walking. and so i did, then i walked through the neighborhood back to TN. and since the neighborhood is so beautiful, i didn't mind.

for the rest of the evening i just hung out, ate dinner, and knitted. but i did all that in the living room of the apartment instead of the confines of my room. OH, and i turned the heater up. :-)

today i will go downtown to walk around and explore. i will also eat down there at Sonoma Taco Shop for lunch. that's right - McDougall approved veggie enchiladas, rice, beans, and chips - all without oil and 1:1 sodium ratio. :-)  i might also get a haircut. and i might also see another movie. i don't know, i'm just gonna wing it.

here's a video recap of my day and how i'm doing at the end of my expedition on foot today:

Activities & Thoughts on Day 14

i kinda feel like i'm recovering from my tonsillectomy again. it took MONTHS for certain foods and flavors to taste "normal" again. that's kinda what i'm sensing right now. grant it, it's only been two days, but i can definitely tell things do not taste the same as they did. my tongue/taste buds have certainly been changed! (i think that's one point of fasting, but i never thought the good food would taste yucky.)

this morning i was presented with a very large plate of pineapple, grapes, and watermelon along with a watermelon/cucumber juice. everything tasted great, but when i was about a 1/4 from finishing the plate of fruit, my tongue started rejecting the pineapple and the grapes. it was almost like the acid in those fruits was burning my tongue! needless to say, i finished off the watermelon instead.

about a half hour later i had a bad case of diarrhea, but that's to be expected. in fact, the doctors here want you to have a bowel movement within 48 hours of eating again, otherwise they start dishing out the prunes and other things. yuk.

in spite of my very long day of walking (3+ miles), i'm feeling well. feeling healthy. and was thankful for the opportunity to walk, even if it ended up being farther than intended. i felt stronger today than yesterday, so maybe tomorrow will be even better!

here's a video recap of my day...

Let the Feeding Begin!

Day 13 - 12/30/12 - yesterday was my first day of re-feeding here at TrueNorth. for breakfast i had watermelon/cucumber juice. lunch was cucumber and something else (green), and dinner was carrot something. it was all good and welcomed, but because it was all juice i still felt like i was fasting. :-)  there were moments of hunger, but they passed eventually. i continued to drink water throughout the day as well.

in the afternoon, after i drank my lunchtime meal, i went for a stroll in the old cemetery around the corner from the center. it's a really tranquil place and there is a dirt path all around the outer edge of it. there were lots of trees, old monuments and headstones, and plenty of people and dogs enjoying the space to meander.

i made one loop in the cemetery and decided to hit the sunny streets of the neighborhood. i walked a couple of blocks down McDonald and found beautiful homes - big, small, Victorian, English, Spanish, country, old, new - quite a collection. and all well manicured. i took a short break in a gazebo a block away from "home" - i realize how weak my body is from not doing anything for 12 days. it's interesting how you can be so active one day and so unable to be active within just a few days. i don't feel unable to walk or do stairs, i just don't feel 100% stable - i seem to drift off the imaginary line a lot. :-)

i also wandered through the grocery store behind TN, just for fun, and took a shower. it felt really nice to wash my hair!

anyway. i hit my low for weight yesterday waking at 136.8. BP, HR, and TEMP were all normal.

Day 14 - 12/31/12 - today brings whole fruit plus juice for breakfast. they brought me watermelon/cucumber juice and a big plate full of pineapple, grapes, and watermelon chunks. all of it tastes great and it's nice to finally chew again!

my plan today is to get out and walk more. i might ride the bus to the Coddington mall area and walk around. Dr Goldhamer is speaking at 2pm, so i probably want to be back for that. that is unless i'm just having too much fun being out in the world. it's nice to have the option to leave and explore. for lunch and/or dinner i can have salad (raw veggies only), more fruit, and probably more juice. carrots will be nice to eat. :-)  tomorrow i might get to introduce some cooked veggies along with the raw and fruit. we'll see.

BP 94/54, HR ?, TEMP 98.3, WT 136.8

Day 12 - My Last Day of Fasting

so... i'm really looking forward to tomorrow. numerous reasons:

1) i get the juice. :-)  re-feeding in general, starting with juice.
2) i get to leave the center to explore. when you're fasting you're supposed to stay put because leaving exerts energy and exerting energy is counterproductive to fasting.
3) i get to take a shower and wash my hair! (i forgot about this one till my mom brought it up - tells you what's most important, doesn't it!?)

so tomorrow i'll drink fresh squeezed juice. a girl i sometimes talk to just finished her fast today and she got watermelon and cucumber juice. maybe i'll get that. or maybe i'll ask for actual watermelon slices. i don't know. but throughout the day i will get juice of some kind and very watery things.

the next day will be more solids, but very soft. maybe juice, too. and the next day will be steamed veggies, very soft, including potatoes. and by the day i leave i should be able to eat rice and beans if i want. the idea here is to slowly introduce foods so my insides don't freak out.

as for exploring... my hope is that i will feel strong and able to go out and walk around starting monday. i may not get too far, but maybe tuesday i can go farther. downtown is only about 1.5 miles from here, so i should be able to walk that. each day i plan to get out and do something. at least one day i will be going downtown for sure. there is a mall down there, as well as two movie theaters and lots of strolling opportunities. there is a cemetery around the corner from here, so i may go stroll there. by thursday i hope to have enough strength back to maybe even do a little jog around the neighborhood. maybe. if not thursday i'm definitely going to do it friday. if it's raining or something i can walk up the street to the YMCA and pay $5 for a day pass and run on the treadmill. there is a bus system around town, so if i don't feel up to walking too much i can always hop the bus for $1.25.

so next week will be much more entertaining. :-)  i haven't felt too cooped up here, surprisingly, but i am looking forward to get on my feet and moving around. i guess i had mentally prepared enough for lounging in one place that spending most of my time in a small room hasn't bothered me. i think fasting has helped that outcome quite a bit though - less energy to inspire me to disobey the rules. :-)

today we heard from Dr. Doug Lisle and a bit later is a food demo by Chef Ramses. i'm feeling a little more tired than normal, but i think i'm more tired from just laying around than anything. i'm growing tired of the routine of doing nothing - that's why i'm looking forward to getting out next week so much. and getting to eat. :-)  otherwise i feel fine. my nose still hurts, but it's better. my scalp has cleared up from the red patches and the dandruff is better. my tongue is still white and still feels like sandpaper. the last few days i've been very thirsty. but overall i feel good and healthy! :-)

BP 103/59, HR 48, TEMP 98.2, WT 137.4

Day 11 of Fasting at True North

some people think i'm crazy. that's ok. some people think i'm starving myself. and that's ok, too. i'm not doing either, but people will think what they think. so what AM i doing?

i'm ending the year with nutrition, healthy, fitness, and loving life on the brain instead of gorging myself on a bunch of junk food that makes me sick. i'm learning ways to adopt a better lifestyle at home, one that will help me THRIVE instead of just survive. i'm starting 2013 on a super positive note. i'm arming myself with tools to help me succeed throughout the year, not just for one week. i'm learning about what my body can do, what my mind can do, what my heart desires in life, what i'm actually able to do versus what i think i can't do.

i've learned a ton while here at True North. and i'm ready to put it into action. i'm armed with delicious plant strong, SOS free recipes that i'm eager to go home and make. i'm armed with knowledge and science and facts and psychology that i can bring to mind when i'm tempted to eat the foods that make us sick. that's right, US, not just me.

i'm ready to make 2013 a great, healthy, strong, fun year.

here's a link to My YouTube Channel - so you can view ALL my videos.

and here's the video of Day 11. yes, it's day 11 of water only and i'm still alive - imagine that! (yes, that was just a tiny bit sarcastic.)  i'm feeling good and healthy and strong. and while i'm doing fine fasting, i am starting to look forward to sunday when i get juice. :-)

Day 8 at True North - Christmas!

Merry Christmas everyone! Today is Day 8 of my stay/fast here at TrueNorth Health Center in Santa Rosa, CA. Below is a video recap of my day so far.

BP 101/60 (?), HR 76, TEMP 98.1, WT 141 (total weight loss so far is 15.6 pounds)

Christmas Eve at True North Health Center

Merry Christmas Eve! today is Day 7 of my stay here at True North and of my 12-day water only fast. I'm half way through!!! feeling really good and strong and healthy today. i slept through the night only waking to roll over. the sun is shining today and i'm planning to go to a Christmas Eve candlelight service tonight at the Presbyterian church across the street.

quite a number of new people arrived yesterday. even children! at the lecture there were about 30 people in the room compared to the norm of 20. i have a new roommate, a woman and her daughter who is 10 or younger. they aren't as quiet as my previous roommate so i'm having to get used to all the banging and slamming and loud voices. *sigh* oh well, i'm sure there's a lesson in there somewhere. :-)

today's vitals: BP 94/64, HR 56, TEMP 97.7, WT 142.2

here's a video update for you...

Day Six of Fasting at True North

Day Six has started out a lot better than yesterday. I was asleep by 11 (later than normal) and first woke at 5:30 then again at 7. when i got up i wasn't light headed. i felt weak a little, but not dizzy or anything. i feel a little hungry this morning which surprises me, but my stomach isn't growling.

the patches around my hairline are still there and very flaky. i asked the dr during rounds if i could wash my hair. he said no at first, but since i have short hair and could get it done in the sink he said yes. i'm still trying to wait it out, but i'm not sure i'm going to make it 6 more days.

BP 110/98, HR 51, TEMP 97.7, WT 143.2

at 10 they are showing a video and then two lectures at 2 and 6:30. i will go to the lectures, but not the video. it's raining like crazy and chilly as usual, but i think tomorrow is supposed to be drier.

a part of me wishes i could go run... i know i wouldn't make it far because of being weak, but i'm looking forward to putting on my running shoes and testing out my breathing at the end of my stay here (after i've re-fed for a few days).

food, all kinds of food, has been occupying most of my thoughts the last two days. last night's dinner looked really good, too - one of my roommates brought her dinner back to the apartment to eat it. smelled great, too. i'm realizing my sense of smell is very sensitive the last few days. then my other roommate brought in a bowl of pineapple. she was across the room from me and i could smell it so strongly!

Day Four & Five at True North

Day Four wasn't exciting necessarily. woke up feeling rested, got out of bed and dressed at 7am, and spent a lot of time watching lecture videos in the living room with my roommates while knitting. we went to a lecture at 6:30 by Dr Michael Klaper which was very informative. he spoke about the dangers of too much salt, sugar, and oil, what it does to your organs and arteries, and how to keep it at a minimum.

my roommates decided to eat in the room today instead of being sociable in the dining room. that was bitter sweet for me. i got to see what they were eating and smell it, but not tasting it caused me to dream of food. lunch was some kind of soup, asparagus, broccoli, beets, salad. but dinner... dinner was the when the jealousy kicked in! potato enchiladas that looked and smelled wonderful. the girls said they also had rice and steamed veggies to choose from, but they both just got salad instead. i was looking at those enchiladas and wanted so much to taste them. i asked them all kinds of questions to find out the taste, but they aren't very descriptive. they'd never make it as food critics. :-)

i'll go to reception at some point and ask to look at Chef Ramses' cookbook to see if those enchiladas are in there. i hope they are!

see the video for a little more info about changes in me.

blood pressure, heart rate, and temperature were all normal. weight was 146.2.

Day Five has started out rather blah. i woke up at 1 something in the morning and had a hard time going back to sleep. finally woke again at 6 and then again just before 7. the last time i woke i felt very groggy, a little achy, tired of being in the bed but didn't want to get up, and when i finally sat up i was light headed - just sitting up.

i'm noticeably more weak today for sure. i managed to get up and go to the restroom, washed my face, dry brushed my teeth, and weighed myself, but moved very slowly, carefully, and unenthusiastically.

weight today is 144.8. BP is lower @ 98/60, Heart Rate is higher @ 68, and Temp is higher @ 98. interesting.

i'm not feeling hungry necessarily (every now and then i have a hunger pang), but i do have some grumbling in my tummy. i think my bowels are moving around and are causing a little bit of gas. i have very little strength to push to help them along, so i'm just waiting patiently for my body to do as it wants and eliminate when it's ready.

doctors just came in and took vitals. explaining my blah feelings today the dr said, "welcome to fasting!" apparently all this is normal and that i've passed the worst part. i guess a lot of people experience nausea, cramping, vomiting, and other yucky things in the first 3-4 days. thankfully i didn't have any of that.

my scalp, especially around my temples and forehead is very flaky and has red patchy skin. i haven't washed my hair in five days, so ... i don't know if it will go away if i continue to not wash, or if i should wash and see if it goes away... i don't know. they don't recommend i wash because it takes energy to do so and they want me to conserve energy as much as possible. plus adding stuff to my body is opposite of letting my body eliminate. so ... i don't know what i'm going to do. i may just ride it out.

the taste of water isn't as bad as it was yesterday, so maybe my tongue was coated in junk or something. it's still not great, but a little more tolerable.

today's activities include a morning lecture by Dr. Doug Lisle, psychologist and co-author of The Pleasure Trap. then Chef Ramses will do a food demo this afternoon. and tonight will be Jeopardy with Chef AJ.

i'm looking forward to the day - we'll see how much i keep up with it!

Day Three at True North + Test Results

Day Three begins with waking just before 4am, but i went back to sleep until about 7:15am. as i was in the restroom the doctors came in to do rounds. very early today for our rooms, but that's ok. i'd rather they come now than have to wonder when they're coming.

BP 117/64, HR 64, TEMP 97.6, WT 148

also got the results of my blood work, though we're still waiting on the Vit D result.

Cholesterol: 126 - looks like HDL is 64 and LDL is 50 and VLDL (?) is 12.
Triglycerides: 62
Glucose: 66
B-12: 7

I'm in the normal range for everything, but on the sheet i'm marked low for cholesterol because the range is 150-200. i find that kind of strange since every time i have my cholesterol checked everyone has said it's good. the doctor who gave me the numbers said it's good, yet it's in the "abnormal" column. maybe it's "abnormally good" ?

B-12 has a range of 5-13, so while i'm inside the range, i could take a supplement to better it. that's one factor that vegans have issues with over time. usually meat eaters get plenty of B-12 because it comes from bacteria and meat holds a lot of bacteria. but over time as a vegetarian or vegan, the B-12 levels come down. so when i get home i may invest in that supplement.

there are two numbers on the report that are just slightly higher and slightly lower than the average range, so i'll have to do some research on those. the doctor said it's normal that they would fluctuate as such, but i don't know what they are. Neutrophils and Lymphocytes. i'll research that today and report back.

feeling good overall so far this morning. i had a little bit of congestion first thing, as well as yestrday. and was a little light headed when i got out of bed. but both of those are normal. i'm still eliminating toxins from my body even through phlegm. i feel a little hungry right now, but not "starving" feelings. my skin doesn't feel oily like i expected - usually i have very oily skin, especially after a couple of days of not bathing. my hair is usually really oily, too, but it's not. i do have some spots right around the edge of my hairline that are flaky and reddish and my legs & hands are dry. dryer and colder air here is also a part of that i'm sure. backache is gone this morning.

overall i'm feeling normal and healthy! there are two food demos today and a lecture this evening. i will probably go to the afternoon food demo and the lecture. i'm surprised at how easy fasting is here. i have no cravings for food, no desires to sneak over to the salad bar, nothing. i'm fasting - this is what i'm doing and i'm ok with it mentally. it's just strange because at home i can hardly deny anything! it helps to be in a facility like this i guess. i mean, if i wanted to fast for a few days at home, i would have to make sure my fridge and cupboards were bare and then do it over a weekend so i could stay home and just be. it's a lot easier when there is nothing readily available to eat. but when you're in a routine of going to work and eating three meals a day, i think you really have to have some spiritual connection to why you're fasting in order to succeed.

Fasting vs Starving

i just watched a video about water-only fasting by a doctor here on staff, Dr Michael Klaper. he talked about who should and should not fast, reasons why one fasts, what happens to your body during the fast, and how to break the fast. but one of the key things that i learned at the beginning of the lecture was the difference between fasting and starving. this definition stuck with me mostly because when i told my mom i was going to do a fast she said something to the effect of, "i don't understand why you want to starve yourself."

well, Mom, i'm not actually starving myself, and here's why...

fasting is a period of time in which your body eliminates retained water because of salt, fecal matter, and fat. the first several days you lose "water weight," and once all that is gone you start to lose actual fat. your body has a great ability to go a long period of time without additional food because you have stores of fat to keep you going. some have fasted up to 40 days or more. the max people do here is 40 days, the least would be 5.

but..... once your fat stores are used up, your body starts drawing on your muscles to get what it needs for energy. when you start losing muscle mass, THAT is when you are starving yourself.

the doctors here at True North do NOT want that to happen, so they keep a close eye on people and do not allow them to fast too long. most people can fast up to 40 days without any issue of losing muscle mass. however, if you're already a very thin person without much body fat and start a water-only fast, your muscle loss will occur in far less time than in someone who has 50 pounds to lose. that's why water-only fasting is such an individual science - there is no one formula for everyone.

anyway. i am definitely not starving myself with a 12-day water-only fast. yes, i feel hungry. naturally! but i am cleansing far more than anything else, and it's not really as hard as it may seem. if i were at home, working and doing my daily routine with food at the ready, yes it would be hard. VERY hard. that's why i'm here. i can be successful here, and start 2013 with a fresh, clean start.

Day Two at True North

Day Two at True North Health Center - i woke around 3:30am and couldn't go back to sleep. around 4:30 i got up and went to the restroom to eliminate more toxins and food from my system. i went back to bed for a couple of hours, but at 7:30 i just couldn't be in the bed anymore. after another trip to the restroom i weighed myself.

151.2 - a total loss so far of 5 pounds. most of that is water weight (from water retention) and waste. i won't start to lose actual fat for a few days. my stomach is usually distended daily, especially after eating a meal - most days i look pregnant. but with not eating and all the elimination of water and waste, my stomach is nearly flat and my hip bones are much more prominent.

now that i'm dressed and my bed is made, i'm sitting at the desk to use the computer and listening to music. and of course, drinking water. lots and lots of water. it's important to stay hydrated, plus water moves things and helps with elimination. it also helps with hunger.

yes, i have hunger pangs. a lot. the first few days are the worst, or so i've read. and as of this morning i am also feeling a little light headed. when i got out of bed at 7:30, i got up quickly and felt very dizzy. i'm ok now, but i have to remember not to spring out of bed!

so not only am i fasting from food, but i'm also fasting from exercise, toothpaste, deodorant, perfume, lotion, baths, and showers. there are a lot of reasons for that. first, your body needs a lot of rest while fasting. if you are too active you run the risk of fainting and losing muscle mass, neither of which is good. the more i sit idle, the more my internal body heals, eliminates, and detoxifies and i don't use up my store of muscles. besides, you don't really desire to do too much while fasting anyway because you're more tired than normal. i may desire to go running, but i would definitely not get very far before heading back to the bed or couch. :-)

secondly, my taste buds and brain are being retrained through the absence of all things taste and smell. i am giving them a vacation from all the work they've been doing for the last 37 years and allowing them to renew, restore, rejuvenate. when it comes time for me to eat again, my sense of taste and smell will be sensitive and heightened so much that i will enjoy food on a new level. maybe even enjoy foods i haven't enjoyed before. and those things that i thought tasted great before, the junk food things, will hopefully not taste as wonderful (too salty, too sweet, etc). as well, the lack of taste and smell will help me not crave those things while i'm fasting.

for example, yesterday when i went to see Dr Sultana i walked into a room filled with the smell of carrot cake. it was really difficult to sit there for nearly 30 minutes waiting on the doctor while smelling cinnamon, one of my most favorite scents, and turning down a slice of carrot cake. (but i did.)

and as for bathing, well, that is because of blood pressure being affected by hot water. have you ever taken a hot bath and felt kinda woozy as you're sitting there or getting out? or notice how relaxed you get in a hot tub? if you're not eating, your energy is very low to begin with. put your body in a pool of hot water and you end up draining what energy you have left and you can possibly get into danger. so, they recommend not bathing the normal way while you're fasting. i can sponge bathe. i might be able to wash my hair - i have to ask today. but i need to do everything i can to conserve as much energy as possible.

so while i'm here there are lectures, food demonstrations, and other things planned every day. i can choose to participate or do my own thing. i am not to leave the premises while fasting - that's for my benefit, in case i get into physical trouble. plus if i'm running around town i'm not conserving energy and resting. today we have an exercise thing at 10, food demo at 2, and movie at 6:30.

i have work to do, afghan to knit, books to read, and movies to watch, so when i feel up to it i will have plenty to keep me occupied. today i will probably do a little of everything and a lot of nothing. :-)

morning rounds just happened: BP 119/75, HR 54, TEMP unknown, WT 151.2